Honor OCallaghan | Page 5

end of the street, a barrel-organ, surmounted by a most
accomplished monkey, was playing at the other; a half tipsy
horse-dealer was galloping up and down the road, showing off an
unbroken forest pony, who threatened every moment to throw him and
break his neck; a hawker was walking up the street crying Greenacre's

last dying speech, who was hanged that morning at Newgate, and as all
the world knows, made none; and the highway in front of our house
was well nigh blocked up by three or four carriages waiting for
different sets of visiters, and by a gang of gipsies who stood clustered
round the gate, waiting with great anxiety the issue of an investigation
going on in the hall, where one of their gang was under examination
upon a question of stealing a goose. Witnesses, constables, and other
officials were loitering in the court, and dogs were barking, women
chattering, boys blowing horns, and babies squalling through all. It was
as pretty a scene of crowd and din and bustle as one shall see in a
summer's day. The fair itself was calm and quiet in comparison; the
complication of discordant sounds in Hogarth's Enraged Musician was
nothing to it.
Within my garden the genius of noise was equally triumphant. An
ingenious device, contrived and executed by a most kind and ingenious
friend, for the purpose of sheltering the pyramid of geraniums in front
of my greenhouse,--consisting of a wooden roof, drawn by pullies up
and down a high, strong post, something like the mast of a ship,* had
given way; and another most kind friend had arrived with the requisite
machinery, blocks and ropes, and tackle of all sorts, to replace it upon
an improved construction. With him came a tall blacksmith, a short
carpenter, and a stout collar-maker, with hammers, nails, chisels, and
tools of all sorts, enough to build a house; ladders of all heights and
sizes, two or three gaping apprentices, who stood about in the way,
John willing to lend his aid in behalf of his flowers, and master Dick
with his hands in his pockets looking on. The short carpenter perched
himself upon one ladder, the tall blacksmith on another; my good friend,
Mr. Lawson, mounted to the mast head; and such a clatter ensued of
hammers and voices--(for it was exactly one of those fancy jobs where
every one feels privileged to advise and find fault)--such clashing of
opinions and conceptions and suggestions as would go to the building a
county town.
* This description does not sound prettily, but the real effect is
exceedingly graceful: the appearance of the dark canopy suspended
over the pile of bright flowers, at a considerable height, has something

about it not merely picturesque but oriental; and that a gentleman's
contrivance should succeed at all points, as if he had been a real
carpenter, instead of an earl's son and a captain in the navy, is a fact
quite unparalleled in the annals of inventions.
Whilst this was going forward in middle air, I and my company were
doing our best to furnish forth the chorus below. It so happened that
two sets of my visiters were scientific botanists, the one party holding
the Linnoean system, the others disciples of Jussieu; and the garden
being a most natural place for such a discussion, a war of hard words
ensued, which would have done honour to the Tower of Babel.
"Tetradynamia," exclaimed one set; "Monocotyledones," thundered the
other; whilst a third friend, a skilful florist, but no botanist,
unconsciously out-long-worded both of them, by telling me that the
name of a new annual was "Leptosiphon androsaceus."
Never was such a confusion of noises! The house door opened, and my
father's strong clear voice was heard in tones of warning. "Woman,
how can you swear to this goose?" Whilst the respondent squeaked out
in something between a scream and a cry, "Please your worship, the
poor bird having a-laid all his eggs, we had marked un, and so--" What
farther she would have said being drowned in a prodigious clatter
occasioned by the downfal of the ladder that supported the tall
blacksmith, which, striking against that whereon was placed the short
carpenter, overset that climbing machine also, and the clamor incident
to such a calamity overpowered all minor noises.
In the meanwhile I became aware that a fourth party of visiters had
entered the garden, my excellent neighbour, Miss Mortimer, and three
other ladies, whom she introduced as Mrs. and the Misses Dobbs; and
the botanists and florists having departed, and the disaster at the mast
being repaired, quiet was so far restored, that I ushered my guests into
the greenhouse, with something like a hope that we should be able to
hear each other speak.
Mrs. Dobbs