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rich and new.
Thus, peace-proclaiming, loving friend,
Time-honoured Christmas
dear,
Thou wilt, indeed, have well fulfilled
Thy love-fraught
mission here.

A VICTIM TO MODERN INVENTIONS.
(_Founded on a tale which appeared in Chambers' Journal, 4th series,
No. 630, Saturday, January 22nd, 1876, page 69_.)
Since quite a boy Hal Gradient had been
Noted for
ingenuity--between
The hours when not on active duty he

Immersed in some new scheme was sure to be;
So, by the age of
twenty-five he grew
Absorbed in plans, constructive, rare and new.

We both in engineering works were then,
On contract work engaged

in France, when
He the gratifying news received,
That some
unknown rich relative had died,
Leaving him sole executor and heir

To an estate both lucrative and fair.
Prior to leaving for his native land,
He said to me, Now, Mark, my
friend, you understand,
I shall expect to see you at my home
As
soon as your engagement here is done;
And such a home, my boy, as
you shall see,
You cannot well conceive what it may be,
For I
intend to exercise my skill,
Its precincts with inventions new to fill,

And have things so arranged that work and time
Shall reap rich
harvests in their course sublime.
Time passed; my contract done, I hastened home,
Unwilling longer
from its joys to roam,
When Harry, hearing that I had returned,
To
have me by him with impatience burned;
So, to his pressing lines that
I should pay
A visit to his country home next day,
I cordially
assented, for I, too,
Was anxious our prized friendship to renew.
Descending at the station I espied
The dear old boy, with dog-cart at
his side,
Waiting to welcome me with heart and hand,
To all we
prize most in our native land;
For howsoe'er or wheresoe'er we roam,

We find no joys like those of home, sweet home!
We bowled along the pleasant country lanes,
By wooded heights and
blossom-covered plains.
See! said he, there's my house among the
trees,
Sheltered, yet open to the southern breeze.
In that beyond,
with other two, you see,
Whose grounds close round my own so
pleasantly,
Live valued friends of whom I never tire;
With each
abode a telegraphic wire
Communicates, so, when we feel inclined

For whist or billiards, after we have dined
We telegraph to fix the
time and place,
And oft arrange a meet for hunt and chase,
Which is
convenient, as you soon will see,
And makes us like one social
family.

Just then arriving at the gate hard by,
I will descend and open it, said
I;
Sit still, said Harry, when without a word,
The gate seemed
opened of its own accord.
Hallo, that's "open, Sesame," I said,
How
is it done? to which Hal answer made:
Why, don't you see; I've
placed across the path
A narrow gutter like a shallow bath,
And
when we stop the wheels press on it, so
It slightly sinks, and forces
cranks to go,
These then force back the gate until we've passed,

Whilst others set it free and close it fast.
Well, now that is convenient,
I cried,
Yes, and saves lodge and keeper, he replied.
Arriving at the house, the groom we found
And waitress at the door,
for the clear sound
From two electric wires pressed by the cart
In
passing through the gate, had sent a dart
Of electricity that rang a bell,

To man and maid of our approach to tell.
Hal's sister met us in the entrance hall,
A lady of a certain age, erect
and tall,
Whose bearing was, to say the least, severe,
One not just
suited hearts to win and cheer;
She eyed me in a curious sort of way,

And then, with haughty mien, she went away.
I noticed as I hung up coat and hat,
A sort of cage, and said to Hal,
what's that?
'Tis my automaton machine, he said,
For brushing
thoroughly from heels to head;
I will explain: a platform there below

On which you step, makes wheels and levers go,
In fact, your
weight the motive power supplies,
On which the action of the whole
relies,
Those arms with brushes then revolving wheel,
And from
your clothes the dust adroitly steal,
Whilst overhead another like
machine
Is also placed your hat to smooth and clean;
Observe it,
like a hat box cleft in twain,
With bristled, lever-working jaws that
claim
Your hat within their grasp, so for the nonce
You've trowsers,
coat and hat all brushed at once.

A very curious contrivance; how

I'd like to see it set in action now.
That you shall do, said he, and
stepping in
Upon the little platform neat and trim,
The numerous

brushes vigorously spun
Some fifteen times, and then their work was
done.
There, shouted Harry, what d'ye think of that?
Jump in and
try, but don't forget your hat,
For if you do you'll bitterly repent,

And have good reason, too, for discontent.
No, not just now, some
other day, said I,
Feeling a bit too nervous then to try.
Excuse me,
then, a moment while I seek
My sister, for to her I wish to speak.

Hal had no sooner left, than as I stood
Before the strange machine, I
thought I would
Venture to test it then when none were by
To chaff
if I should chance to bolt or