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have dined?We telegraph to fix the time and place,?And oft arrange a meet for hunt and chase,?Which is convenient, as you soon will see,?And makes us like one social family.
Just then arriving at the gate hard by,?I will descend and open it, said I;?Sit still, said Harry, when without a word,?The gate seemed opened of its own accord.?Hallo, that's "open, Sesame," I said,?How is it done? to which Hal answer made:?Why, don't you see; I've placed across the path?A narrow gutter like a shallow bath,?And when we stop the wheels press on it, so?It slightly sinks, and forces cranks to go,?These then force back the gate until we've passed,?Whilst others set it free and close it fast.?Well, now that is convenient, I cried,?Yes, and saves lodge and keeper, he replied.
Arriving at the house, the groom we found?And waitress at the door, for the clear sound?From two electric wires pressed by the cart?In passing through the gate, had sent a dart?Of electricity that rang a bell,?To man and maid of our approach to tell.
Hal's sister met us in the entrance hall,?A lady of a certain age, erect and tall,?Whose bearing was, to say the least, severe,?One not just suited hearts to win and cheer;?She eyed me in a curious sort of way,?And then, with haughty mien, she went away.
I noticed as I hung up coat and hat,?A sort of cage, and said to Hal, what's that??'Tis my automaton machine, he said,?For brushing thoroughly from heels to head;?I will explain: a platform there below?On which you step, makes wheels and levers go,?In fact, your weight the motive power supplies,?On which the action of the whole relies,?Those arms with brushes then revolving wheel,?And from your clothes the dust adroitly steal,?Whilst overhead another like machine?Is also placed your hat to smooth and clean;?Observe it, like a hat box cleft in twain,?With bristled, lever-working jaws that claim?Your hat within their grasp, so for the nonce?You've trowsers, coat and hat all brushed at once.?A very curious contrivance; how?I'd like to see it set in action now.?That you shall do, said he, and stepping in?Upon the little platform neat and trim,?The numerous brushes vigorously spun?Some fifteen times, and then their work was done.?There, shouted Harry, what d'ye think of that??Jump in and try, but don't forget your hat,?For if you do you'll bitterly repent,?And have good reason, too, for discontent.?No, not just now, some other day, said I,?Feeling a bit too nervous then to try.?Excuse me, then, a moment while I seek?My sister, for to her I wish to speak.?Hal had no sooner left, than as I stood?Before the strange machine, I thought I would?Venture to test it then when none were by?To chaff if I should chance to bolt or cry,?So, stepping boldly in, the brushes ran,?And their appointed active work began,?And that they did it well there is no doubt,?But having rashly bent one elbow out,?Its funny bone was rapped, which made me shout,?Then, horrors! the hat brushes wheeled about,?I had forgot my hat, so they instead?Most unceremoniously seized my head!?The horrid thing whirled round at frightful pace,?Stripping, it seemed, all skin off nose and face.?I tried to stoop, escape from it to find,?But only got distracting blows behind,?Soothing the part affected not the less;?I felt abused, insulted, I confess.?The hateful thing, however, stopped at last,?And springing to the floor I cast?Bewildered and distrustful glances round?When, like an added insult, there I found?Harry convulsed with laughter at my side,?Which nettled my already wounded pride.?My anger was extreme on rushing out?With one loved whisker curled my ear about,?The other brushed across my face; my hair?All twisted in a vortex of despair;?I felt unable to express my rage?At his so vaunted but abusive cage.?'Tis an infernal, demon-formed machine,?Shrieked I to Hal, as ever yet was seen,?He only roared with laughter as he sat,?Saying, 'twas so because you had no hat,?You know I charged you to remember that.?I tried to laugh but 'twas of little use?After such diabolical abuse,?But calming down at last I cheerful rose,?Wishful, in private, to survey my nose,?To see if any skin were left there now,?And what the state of my disordered brow.?So, hastening to my room with Hal, I found?All there so cosily arranged around,?That in my admiration I forgot?The consequences of my ill-starred lot?Why, what a jolly room, to him I said?Yes, and you see that second little bed.?If you are nervous, or should like me to,?As when in France, I'll sleep in it by you.?O no, in England I can have no fear,?As in the old times when you were not near.?All right, old boy, but stay, before I go?I'll light the gas, and I must let you know?'Tis done by electricity, through aid?Of batteries in the basement; I've wires laid?All through the house--now see this knob I touch?Causes two wires