Hocken and Hunken | Page 3

as the ship-chandler was plainly nettled. But he answered simply--
"That's it--'Bias Hunken."
"Have I met the man, by any chance?"
"No," said Captain Cai firmly, "you haven't, or you wouldn't ask the question. He's the best man ever wore shoe-leather, and you can trust him to the end o' the earth."
"I can't say as I know a Hunken answerin' that description," Mr Bussa confessed dubiously.
"You've heard the description, anyway," suggested Mr Rogers, losing patience. "And now, Peter Bussa, what d'ye say to running off and annoying somebody else?"
The Quaymaster fawned, and was backing away. But at this point up came Barber Toy, who for some minutes had been fretting to attract Captain Cai's notice, and could wait no longer.
"Hulloa, there! Is it Cap'n Cai?--an' still carryin' his gaff-tops'l, I see" (this in pleasant allusion to the tall hat). "Well, home you be, it seems, an' welcome as flowers in May!"
"Thank 'ee, Toy." Captain Cai shook hands.
"We was talkin' business," said the ship-chandler pointedly.
"Then you might ha' waited for a better occasion," Mr Toy retorted. "Twasn' mannerly of ye, to say the least."
"Better be unmannerly than troublesome, I've heard."
"Better be both than unfeelin'. What! Leave Cap'n Cai, here, pass my door, an' never a home-comin' word?"
"I was meanin' to pay you a visit straight away; indeed I was," said Captain Cai contritely. "Troy streets be narrow and full o' friends; and when a man's accustomed to sea-room--" He broke off and drew a long breath. "But O, friends, if you knew the good it is!"
"Ay, Cap'n: East or West, home is best."
"And too far East is West, as every sailor man knows. . . . There, now, take me along and think' that out while you're giving me a clip; for the longer you stand scratching your head the longer my hair's growing." He turned to Mr Rogers. "So long, soce! I'll be punctual at twelve-thirty--what's left of me."
CHAPTER II.
THE BARBER'S CHAIR.
"This is home!" Captain Cai settled himself down in the barber's chair with a sigh of luxurious content. "I've heard married men call it better," said Mr Toy, fetching forth a clean wrapper.
"Very likely." The Captain sighed again contentedly. "I take no truck in marriage, for my part. A friend's company enough for me."
"What's his name, Cap'n? The whole town's dyin' to know."
"He's called Hunken--Tobias Hunken."
The barber paused, snapping his scissors and nodding. "Bussa was right then, or Bussa and Philp between 'em."
"Hey?"
"'Tis wonderful how news gets abroad in Troy. . . . 'Hunken,' now? And where might he be one of? I don't seem to fit the name in my mem'ry at all."
"You wouldn't. He comes from t'other side of the Duchy--a Padstow-born man, and he've never set eyes on Troy in his life."
"Yet he takes a house an' settles here? That's queer, as you might say."
"I see nothing queer about it. He's my friend--that's why. And what's more, the Lord never put bowels into a better man."
"He'll be a pleasure to shave, then," opined Mr Toy.
"No, he won't; he wears his hair all over his face. Talkin' of that reminds me--when you've done croppin' me I want a clean shave."
"Chin-beard an' all, Cap'n?"
"Take it off--take it off! 'Twas recommended to me against sore throat; but I never liked the thing nor the look of it."
"Then there's one point, it seems, on which you an' your friend don't agree, sir?"
The barber meant this facetiously, but Captain Cai considered it in all seriousness.
"You're mistaken," he answered. "Between friends there's a give-an'-take, and until you understand that you don't understand friendship. 'Bias Hunken likes me to do as I choose, and I like 'Bias to do as he chooses: by consekence o' which the more we goes our own ways the more we goes one another's. That clear, I hope."
"Moderately," the barber assented.
"I'll put it t'other way--about an' make it still clearer. Most married folks, as I notice, start t'other way about. For argyment's sake we'll call 'em Jack an' Joan. Jack starts by thinkin' Joan pretty near perfection; but he wants her quite perfect and all to his mind--his mind, d'ye see? Now if you follow that up, as you followed it between 'Bias and me--"
"I don't want my missus to wear a beard, if that's what you mean."
"'Twasn't a good illustration, I admit. But the p'int is, I like 'Bias because he's 'Bias, an' 'Bias likes me because I'm Cai Hocken. That bein' so, don't it follow we're goin' to be better friends than ever, now we've hauled ashore to do as likes us?"
The barber shook his head. "You're determined to have off your chin-beard?"
"To be sure. I'm ashore now, aren't I?--and free to wear what face I choose."
"You won't find it so, Cap'n."
"T'ch't! You landsmen be so fed with liberty you don't know your privileges. If you don't like your