Gryll Grange | Page 5

Why, sir, I do not call that a misnomer. The
term wisdom is used in a parliamentary sense. The wisdom of
Parliament is a wisdom sui generis. It is not like any other wisdom. It is
not the wisdom of Socrates, nor the wisdom of Solomon. It is the
wisdom of Parliament. It is not easily analysed or defined; but it is very
easily understood. It has achieved wonderful things by itself, and still
more when Science has come to its aid. Between them they have
poisoned the Thames, and killed the fish in the river. A little further
development of the same wisdom and science will complete the
poisoning of the air, and kill the dwellers on the banks. It is pleasant
that the precious effluvium has been brought so efficiently under the
Wisdom's own wise nose. Thereat the nose, like Trinculo's, has been in
great indignation. The Wisdom has ordered the Science to do
something. The Wisdom does not know what, nor the Science either.
But the Wisdom has empowered the Science to spend some millions of
money; and this, no doubt, the Science will do. When the money has
been spent, it will be found that the something has been worse than
nothing. The Science will want more money to do some other
something, and the Wisdom will grant it. Redit labor actus in orbem.{1}
But you have got on moral and political ground. My remark was
merely on a perversion of words, of which we have an inexhaustible
catalogue.
Mr. Gryll. Whatever ground we take, doctor, there is one point
common to most of these cases: the word presents an idea which does
not belong to the subject, critically considered. Palestine soup is not
more remote from the true Jerusalem, than many an honourable friend
from public honesty and honour. However, doctor, what say you to a
glass of old Madeira, which I really believe is what it is called?
The Rev. Dr. Opimian. In vino Veritas. I accept with pleasure.

Miss Gryll. You and my uncle, doctor, get up a discussion on
everything that presents itself; dealing with your theme like a series of
variations in music. You have run half round the world à propos of the
soup.{1} What say you to the fish?
1 The labour returns, compelled into a circle.
The Rev. Dr. Opimian. Premising that this is a remarkably fine slice of
salmon, there is much to be said about fish: but not in the way of
misnomers. Their names are single and simple. Perch, sole, cod, eel,
carp, char, skate, tench, trout, brill, bream, pike, and many others, plain
monosyllables: salmon, dory, turbot, gudgeon, lobster, whitebait,
grayling, haddock, mullet, herring, oyster, sturgeon, flounder, turtle,
plain dissyllables: only two trisyllables worth naming, anchovy and
mackerel; unless any one should be disposed to stand up for halibut,
which, for my part, I have excommunicated.
Mr. Gryll. I agree with you on that point; but I think you have named
one or two that might as well keep it company.
The Rev. Dr. Opimian. I do not think I have named a single
unpresentable fish.
Mr. Gryll. Bream, doctor: there is not much to be said for bream.
The Rev. Dr. Opimian. On the contrary, sir, I think there is much to be
said for him. In the first place, there is the authority of the monastic
brotherhoods, who are universally admitted to have been connoisseurs
in fish, and in the mode of preparing it; and you will find bream pie set
down as a prominent item of luxurious living in the indictments
prepared against them at the dissolution of the monasteries. The work
of destruction was rather too rapid, and I fear the receipt is lost. But he
can still be served up as an excellent stew, provided always that he is
full-grown, and has swum all his life in clear running water. I call
everything fish that seas, lakes, and rivers furnish to cookery; though,
scientifically, a turtle is a reptile, and a lobster an insect. Fish, Miss
Gryll--I could discourse to you on fish by the hour: but for the present I
will forbear: as Lord Curryfin is coming down to Thornback Bay, to

lecture the fishermen on fish and fisheries, and to astonish them all
with the science of their art You will, no doubt, be curious to hear him.
There will be some reserved seats.
Miss Gryll. I shall be very curious to hear him, indeed. I have never
heard a lecturing lord. The fancy of lords and gentlemen to lecture
everybody on everything, everywhere, seems to me something very
comical; but perhaps it is something very serious, gracious in the
lecturer, and instructive to the audience. I shall be glad to be cured of
my unbecoming propensity to laugh