Going into Society | Page 3

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This etext was prepared from the 1894 Chapman and Hall "Christmas
Stories" edition by David Price, email [email protected]

GOING INTO SOCIETY

At one period of its reverses, the House fell into the occupation of a
Showman. He was found registered as its occupier, on the parish books

of the time when he rented the House, and there was therefore no need
of any clue to his name. But, he himself was less easy to be found; for,
he had led a wandering life, and settled people had lost sight of him,
and people who plumed themselves on being respectable were shy of
admitting that they had ever known anything of him. At last, among the
marsh lands near the river's level, that lie about Deptford and the
neighbouring market-gardens, a Grizzled Personage in velveteen, with
a face so cut up by varieties of weather that he looked as if he had been
tattooed, was found smoking a pipe at the door of a wooden house on
wheels. The wooden house was laid up in ordinary for the winter, near
the mouth of a muddy creek; and everything near it, the foggy river, the
misty marshes, and the steaming market-gardens, smoked in company
with the grizzled man. In the midst of this smoking party, the
funnel-chimney of the wooden house on wheels was not remiss, but
took its pipe with the rest in a companionable manner.
On being asked if it were he who had once rented the House to Let,
Grizzled Velveteen looked surprised, and said yes. Then his name was
Magsman? That was it, Toby Magsman--which lawfully christened
Robert; but called in the line, from a infant, Toby. There was nothing
agin Toby Magsman, he believed? If there was suspicion of
such--mention it!
There was no suspicion of such, he might rest assured. But, some
inquiries were making about that House, and would he object to say
why he left it?
Not at all; why should he? He left it, along of a Dwarf.
Along of a Dwarf?
Mr. Magsman repeated, deliberately and emphatically, Along of a
Dwarf.
Might it be compatible with Mr. Magsman's inclination and
convenience to enter, as a favour, into a few particulars?
Mr. Magsman entered into the following particulars.

It was a long time ago, to begin with;--afore lotteries and a deal more
was done away with. Mr. Magsman was looking about for a good pitch,
and he see that house, and he says to himself, "I'll have you, if you're to
be had. If money'll get you, I'll have you."
The neighbours cut up rough, and made complaints; but Mr. Magsman
don't know what they WOULD have had. It was a lovely thing. First of
all, there was the canvass, representin the picter of the Giant, in Spanish
trunks and a ruff, who was himself half the heighth of the house, and
was run up with a line and pulley to a pole on the roof, so that his Ed
was coeval with the parapet. Then, there was the canvass, representin
the picter of the Albina lady, showing her white air to the Army and
Navy in correct uniform. Then, there was the canvass, representin the
picter of the Wild Indian a scalpin a member of some foreign nation.
Then, there was the canvass, representin the picter of a child of a
British Planter, seized by two Boa Constrictors--not that WE never had
no child, nor no Constrictors neither. Similarly, there was the canvass,
representin the picter of the Wild Ass of the Prairies--not that WE
never had no wild asses, nor wouldn't have had 'em at a gift. Last, there
was the canvass, representin the picter