Girls and Women | Page 5

aim for every girl. Nevertheless she
has a still higher aim, for sometimes the happiness of other people--at
least their visible happiness--clashes with some other duty. Then she
does not fail. She gives her hard refusal in pleasant but firm words, and
she tells the truth even if it makes some one wince. She is not a genius,
but, on the whole, I hardly know another girl so full of the best life.
That her highest aim is the true one is without question, and that her
minor aim is the true one for her must also be admitted. Whether it is so
for all is not quite clear. She has the natural gift which makes all her
ministrations to others acceptable, but every one is not so endowed.
She has a cousin as unselfish as she is whose capacity is entirely
different. She is a quiet, reserved, thoughtful girl, who always speaks
slowly. She is just and good-tempered, and is ready to give her time
and money when she sees she can be of use. But her thoughts move in
other channels. She has excellent mathematical abilities, and she is

always resolving some difficult problem. She hopes some day to do
some work in astronomy. Of course she would be glad to do some great
work and be known as a benefactor to mankind, but probably she works
from love of her work more than from the hope of doing good. She, too,
is charming, but it takes a long time to know her well.
Should one of these girls try to do the work of the other? Or is one
better than the other? I think not, since both look so steadily towards
the highest star in their field of vision. The minor aim of life must
always have reference to the gifts of the individual. Even visiting the
poor would become absurd if nobody did anything else.
If we believe in an overruling Providence we cannot of course say that
anything is by chance; but so far as we can see, failure in this
world--that is, failure to reach our minor aim--does sometimes seem to
be due to a trifling accident. Yet success is not so. If Byron, for
instance, awoke one morning and found himself famous, it was because
he had previously done the work which was suddenly recognized by the
world. Indeed, none of us need look for success who does not choose a
definite aim in life. And, more than that, no discouragement must turn
us aside from it. We may fail in the end then, but we shall have
followed the only possible path to success.
How shall we choose our aim? We know what our grand aim must be,
and that if we do our part there we shall not fail, for we shall have God
to help us; and we know that our minor aim must never be opposed to
this. But what shall our minor aim be, or shall we be content to drift
without any at all?
We must try to understand ourselves so far at least as to know what our
own powers and tastes are, and choose accordingly. A young girl
hardly knows her own bent. Then the uncertainty in regard to her
marriage and the great change that necessarily makes in her pursuits
renders the problem harder for her than for her brothers.
Most girls wish to be the centre of a happy home, but many of them are
very careless about the means of making themselves fit to be such a
centre. They think when love comes it will do everything, and it is true

that it will do wonders. But suppose a girl remembers that if she is well
she can make her family happier then if she is always ailing,--suppose
she remembers how much good housekeeping does to make a home
attractive; that if she is musical her singing will calm the troubled
waters, while if she is not her practicing will be a burden; that there are
some studies which bear directly on life and some others which will be
of infinite use to a mother in training her children,--is she not more
likely to have a happy home than if her aim had been less definite?
But what of the girls who choose this aim and who never have a home?
Their lot is hard, but they may add happiness to some home not their
own. If they are not obliged to support themselves, they can probably
create some kind of a home for themselves, though not that of their
ideal. If they must earn their living, the problem is harder.
Circumstances may force them into a widely different path from that
they would have chosen. Then they must remember the grand aim