Ginxs Baby, A Satire | Page 3

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GINX'S BABY His Birth and other Misfortunes A SATIRE {by
Edward Jenkins?? 1838-1910??}
PREFACE. ---- CRITIC.--I never read a more improbable story in my
life. AUTHOR.--Notwithstanding, it may be true.
CONTENTS. ----
PART I. WHAT GINX DID WITH HIM.
I. Ab initio II. Home, sweet Home! III. Work and Ideas IV. Digressive,
and may be skipped without mutilating the History V. Reasons and
Resolves VI. The Antagonism of Law and Necessity VII. Malthus and
Man VIII. The Baby's First Translation

PART II. WHAT CHARITY AND THE
CHURCHES DID WITH HIM.
I. The Milk of Human Kindness, Mother's Milk, and the Milk of the

Word II. The Protestant Detectoral Association III. The Sacrament of
Baptism IV. Law on Behalf of Gospel V. Magistrate's Law VI. Popery
and Protestantism in the Queen's Bench VII. A Protestor, but not a
Protestant VIII. "See how these Christians love one another" IX. Good
Samaritans, and Good-Samaritan Twopences X. The Force--and a
Specimen of its Weakness XI. The Unity of the Spirit and the Bond of
Peace XII. No Funds--no Faith, no Works XIII. In transitu

PART III. WHAT THE PARISH DID
WITH HIM.
I. Parochial Knots--to be untied without Prejudice II. A Board of
Guardians III. "The World is my Parish" IV. Without Prejudice to any
one but the Guardians V. An Ungodly Jungle VI. Parochial
Benevolence--and another Translation
PART IV. WHAT THE CLUBS AND
POLITICIANS DID WITH HIM.
I. Moved on II. Club Ideas III. A thorough-paced Reformer--if not a
Revolutionary IV. Very Broad Views V. Party Tactics--and Political
Obstructions to Social Reform VI. Amateur Debating in a High
Legislative Body
PART V. WHAT GINX'S BABY DID
WITH HIMSELF.
The Last Chapter

PART I. WHAT GINX DID WITH HIM.

I.--Ab initio. The name of the father of Ginx's Baby was Ginx. By a not
unexceptional coincidence, its mother was Mrs. Ginx. The gender of
Ginx's Baby was masculine.
On the day when our hero was born, Mr. and Mrs. Ginx were living at
Number Five, Rosemary Street, in the City of Westminster. The being
then and there brought into the world was not the only human entity to
which the title of "Ginx's Baby" was or had been appropriate. Ginx had
been married to Betsy Hicks at St. John's, Westminster, on the
twenty-fifth day of October, 18--, as appears from the "marriage lines"
retained by Betsy Ginx, and carefully collated by me with the original
register. Our hero was their thirteenth child. Patient inquiry has enabled
me to verify the following history of their propagations. On July the
twenty-fifth, the year after their marriage, Mrs. Ginx was safely
delivered of a girl. No announcement of this appeared in the
newspapers.
On the tenth of April following, the whole neighborhood, including
Great Smith Street, Marsham Street, Great and Little Peter Streets,
Regent Street, Horseferry Road, and Strutton Ground, was convulsed
by the report that a woman named Ginx had given birth to "a triplet,"
consisting of two girls and a boy. The news penetrated to Dean's Yard
and the ancient school of Westminster. The Dean, who accepted
nothing on trust, sent to verify the report, his messenger bearing a
bundle of baby-clothes from the Dean's wife, who thought that the
mother could scarcely have provided for so large an addition to her
family. The schoolboys, on their way to the play-ground at Vincent
Square, slyly diverged to have a look at the curiosity, paying sixpence a
head to Mrs. Ginx's friend and crony, Mrs. Spittal, who pocketed the
money, and said nothing about it to the sick woman. THIS birth was
announced in all the newspapers throughout the kingdom, with the
further news that Her Majesty the Queen had been graciously pleased
to forward to Mrs. Ginx the sum of three pounds. What could have
possessed the woman I can't say, but about a twelvemonth after, Mrs.
Ginx, with the assistance of two doctors hastily fetched from the
hospital by her frightened husband, nearly perished in a fresh effort