George Washingtons Last Duel | Page 6

danger of falling a victim to the charms of the pretty daughter of an old friend and neighbor of his, and though it appeared rather a pity for a young fellow to fall in love "out of the State," yet the claims of hospitality, combined with the fact that rivalry with Mr. Lawrence, against whom, on account of his foppishness, he had conceived some prejudice, promised a delightful excitement, more than counterbalanced that objectionable feature. He therefore immediately constituted himself Jeff's ardent champion, and always spoke of the latter's guest as "that fellow Lawrence."
Accordingly, when, one afternoon, on his return from his ride, he found Jeff, who had ridden over to tea, lounging around alone, in a state of mind as miserable as a man should be who, having come with the expectation of basking in the sunshine of Beauty's smile, finds that Beauty is out horseback riding with a rival, he was impelled to give him aid, countenance, and advice. He immediately attacked him, therefore, on his forlorn and woebegone expression, and declared that at his age he would have long ago run the game to earth, and have carried her home across his saddle-bow.
"You are afraid, sir--afraid," he asserted, hotly. "I don't know what you fellows are coming to."
Jeff admitted the accusation. "He feared," he said, "that he could not get a girl to have him." He was looking rather red when the Major cut him short.
"'Fear,' sir! Fear catches kicks, not kisses. 'Not get a girl to have you!' Well, upon my soul! Why don't you run after her and bawl like a baby for her to stop, whilst you get down on your knees and--get her to have you!"
Jeff was too dejected to be stung even by this unexpected attack. He merely said, dolorously:
"Well, how the deuce can it be done?"
"Make her, sir--make her," cried the Major. "Coerce her--compel her." The old fellow was in his element. He shook his grizzled head, and brought his hollowed hands together with sounding emphasis.
Jeff suggested that perhaps she might be impregnable, but the old fellow affirmed that no woman was this; that no fortress was too strong to be carried; that it all depended on the assailant and the vehemence of the assault; and if one did not succeed, another would. The young man brightened. His mentor, however, dashed his rising hopes by saying: "But mark this, sir, no coward can succeed. Women are rank cowards themselves, and they demand courage in their conquerors. Do you think a woman will marry a man who trembles before her? By Jove, sir! He must make her tremble!"
Jeff admitted dubiously that this sounded like wisdom. The Major burst out, "Wisdom, sir! It is the wisdom of Solomon, who had a thousand wives!"
From this time the Major constituted himself Jeff's ally, and was ready to take the field on his behalf against any and all comers. Therefore, when he came into the hall one day when Rose was at the piano, running her fingers idly over the keys, whilst Lawrence was leaning over her talking, he exclaimed:
"Hello! what treason's this? I'll tell Jeff. He was consulting me only yesterday about--"
Lawrence muttered an objurgation; but Rose wheeled around on the piano-stool and faced him.
--"Only yesterday about the best mode of winning--" He stopped tantalizingly.
"Of winning what? I am so interested." She rose and stood just before him with a cajoling air. The Major shut his mouth tight.
"I'm as dumb as an oyster. Do you think I would betray my friend's confidence--for nothing? I'm as silent as the oracle of Delphi."
Lawrence looked anxious, and Rose followed the old man closely.
"I'll pay you anything."
"I demand payment in coin that buys youth from age." He touched his lips, and catching Rose leaned slowly forward and kissed her.
"Now, tell me--what did he say? A bargain's a bargain," she laughed as Lawrence almost ground his teeth.
"Well, he said,--he said, let me see, what did he say?" paltered the Major. "He said he could not get a girl he loved to have him."
"Oh! did he say that?" She was so much interested that she just knew that Lawrence half stamped his foot.
"Yes, he said just that, and I told him--"
"Well,--what did you say?"
"Oh! I did not bargain to tell what I told him. I received payment only for betraying his confidence. If you drive a bargain I will drive one also."
Rose declared that he was the greatest old screw she ever knew, but she paid the price, and waited.
"Well?--"
"'Well?' Of course, I told him 'well.' I gave him the best advice a man ever received. A lawyer would have charged him five hundred dollars for it. I'm an oracle on heart-capture."
Rose laughingly declared she would have to consult him herself, and when the Major told her to consult only her