From Plotzk to Boston | Page 7

be staring at me as much as the grayish-blue eyes
above them, it was so large and round--and tried to read the German,
with the aid of the Russian translation below. I noticed all this and
remembered it, as if there was nothing else in the world for me to think
of--no America, no gendarme to destroy one's passports and speak of
two hundred rubles as if he were a millionaire, no possibility of being
sent back to one's old home whether one felt at all grateful for the
kindness or not--nothing but that most attractive of places, full of
interesting sights.
For, though I had been so hopeful a little while ago, I felt quite
discouraged when a man, very sour and grumbling--and he was a
Jew--a "Son of Mercy" as a certain song said--refused to tell mamma
where Schidorsky lived. I then believed that the whole world must have
united against us; and decided to show my defiant indifference by
leaving the world to be as unkind as it pleased, while I took no interest
in such trifles.
So I let my mind lose itself in a queer sort of mist--a something I
cannot describe except by saying it must have been made up of lazy
inactivity. Through this mist I saw and heard indistinctly much that
followed.

When I think of it now, I see how selfish it was to allow myself to sink,
body and mind, in such a sea of helpless laziness, when I might have
done something besides awaiting the end of that critical time, whatever
it might be--something, though what, I do not see even now, I own. But
I only studied the many notices till I thought myself very well
acquainted with the German tongue; and now and then tried to cheer
the other children, who were still inclined to cry, by pointing out to
them some of the things that interested me. For this faulty conduct I
have no excuse to give, unless youth and the fact that I was stunned
with the shock we had just received, will be accepted.
I remember through that mist that mother found Schidorsky's home at
last, but was told she could not see him till a little later; that she came
back to comfort us, and found there our former fellow passenger who
had come with us from Vilna, and that he was very indignant at the
way in which we were treated, and scolded, and declared he would
have the matter in all the papers, and said we must be helped. I
remember how mamma saw Schidorsky at last, spoke to him, and then
told us, word for word, what his answer had been; that he wouldn't wait
to be asked to use all his influence, and wouldn't lose a moment about it,
and he didn't, for he went out at once on that errand, while his good
daughter did her best to comfort mamma with kind words and tea. I
remember that there was much going to the good man's house; much
hurrying of special messengers to and from Eidtkunen; trembling
inquiries, uncertain replies made hopeful only by the pitying,
encouraging words and manners of the deliverer--for all, even the
servants, were kind as good angels at that place. I remember that
another little family--there were three--were discovered by us in the
same happy state as ourselves, and like the dogs in the fable, who,
receiving care at the hands of a kind man, sent their friends to him for
help, we sent them to our helper.
I remember seeing night come out of that mist, and bringing more
trains and people and noise than the whole day (we still remained at the
depot), till I felt sick and dizzy. I remember wondering what kind of a
night it was, but not knowing how to find out, as if I had no senses. I
remember that somebody said we were obliged to remain in Keebart

that night and that we set out to find lodgings; that the most important
things I saw on the way were the two largest dolls I had ever seen,
carried by two pretty little girls, and a big, handsome father; and a great
deal of gravel in the streets, and boards for the crossings. I remember
that we found a little room (we had to go up four steps first) that we
could have for seventy-five copecks, with our tea paid for in that sum. I
remember, through that mist, how I wondered what I was sleeping on
that night, as I wondered about the weather; that we really woke up in
the morning (I was so glad to rest I had believed we should never be
disturbed again) and washed, and dressed and breakfasted and went to
the