Frenzied Fiction | Page 4

by agents like
yourself. You understand all this already, no doubt?"
I indicated my assent.
"These, then, are your instructions," said the Baron, speaking slowly
and distinctly, as if to impress his words upon my memory. "On your
arrival in the United States you will follow the accredited methods that
are known to be used by all the best Spies of the highest diplomacy.
You have no doubt read some of the books, almost manuals of
instruction, that they have written?"
"I have read many of them," I said.
"Very well. You will enter, that is to say, enter and move everywhere in
the best society. Mark specially, please, that you must not only enter it
but you must move. You must, if I may put it so, get a move on."
I bowed.
"You must mix freely with the members of the Cabinet. You must dine
with them. This is a most necessary matter and one to be kept well in
mind. Dine with them often in such a way as to make yourself familiar

to them. Will you do this?"
"I will," I said.
"Very good. Remember also that in order to mask your purpose you
must constantly be seen with the most fashionable and most beautiful
women of the American capital. Can you do this?"
"Can I?" I said.
"You must if need be"--and the Baron gave a most significant look
which was not lost upon me--"carry on an intrigue with one or, better,
with several of them. Are you ready for it?"
"More than ready," I said.
"Very good. But this is only a part. You are expected also to familiarize
yourself with the leaders of the great financial interests. You are to put
yourself on such a footing with them as to borrow large sums of money
from them. Do you object to this?"
"No," I said frankly, "I do not."
"Good! You will also mingle freely in Ambassadorial and foreign
circles. It would be well for you to dine, at least once a week, with the
British Ambassador. And now one final word"--here Gestern spoke
with singular impressiveness--"as to the President of the United States."
"Yes," I said.
"You must mix with him on a footing of the most open-handed
friendliness. Be at the White House continually. Make yourself in the
fullest sense of the words the friend and adviser of the President. All
this I think is clear. In fact, it is only what is done, as you know, by all
the masters of international diplomacy."
"Precisely," I said.
"Very good. And then," continued the Baron, "as soon as you find

yourself sufficiently en rapport with everybody, or I should say," he
added in correction, for the Baron shares fully in the present German
horror of imported French words, "when you find yourself sufficiently
in enggeknupfterverwandtschaft with everybody, you may then proceed
to advance your peace terms. And now, my dear fellow," said the
Baron, with a touch of genuine cordiality, "one word more. Are you in
need of money?"
"Yes," I said.
"I thought so. But you will find that you need it less and less as you go
on. Meantime, good-bye, and best wishes for your mission."
Such was, such is, in fact, the mission with which I am accredited. I
regard it as by far the most important mission with which I have been
accredited by the Wilhelmstrasse. Yet I am compelled to admit that up
to the present it has proved unsuccessful. My attempts to carry it out
have been baffled. There is something perhaps in the atmosphere of this
republic which obstructs the working of high diplomacy. For over five
months now I have been waiting and willing to dine with the American
Cabinet. They have not invited me. For four weeks I sat each night
waiting in the J. hotel in Washington with my suit on ready to be asked.
They did not come near me.
Nor have I yet received an invitation from the British Embassy inviting
me to an informal lunch or to midnight supper with the Ambassador.
Everybody who knows anything of the inside working of the
international spy system will realize that without these invitations one
can do nothing. Nor has the President of the United States given any
sign. I have sent ward to him, in cipher, that I am ready to dine with
him on any day that may be convenient to both of us. He has made no
move in the matter.
Under these circumstances an intrigue with any of the leaders of
fashionable society has proved impossible. My attempts to approach
them have been misunderstood--in fact, have led to my being invited to
leave the J. hotel. The fact that I was compelled to leave it, owing to
reasons that I