Frank on the Lower Mississippi | Page 5

questions, and besides, there was an abundance of notices on the walls
pointing out the different offices; but in spite of this, every stranger that
came in must stop and make inquiries of me.
"Well, this man came into the office, and as he had evidently never
been there before, judging by the way he gaped at every thing, I told
him that it was after office hours, and that he must call again the next
morning about nine o'clock. He took a turn or two across the floor
(by-the-way, he wore squeaking boots, that made a noise like a
steam-whistle), and finally went out.

"The next evening, just as I was locking up my desk, he came in again,
and I repeated what I had told him the night before, that he must come
at nine o'clock in the _morning_--not at night--if he wished to see the
captain, and he went out, after making noise enough with his squeaking
boots to set a nervous man's teeth on edge. Now, would you believe it,
that evening, after I had finished my work, and was starting out for
supper, I saw this man coming up the stairs. He met me with the usual
question, 'Is the captain in?' and I suddenly hit upon a plan to get rid of
him, for I had made up my mind that the man didn't know what he was
about; so I replied:
"'What do you want? Why don't you come here during our office hours,
if you want to see me?'
"I spoke in a gruff voice, and I was so bundled up--for the night was
very cold--that I knew he wouldn't recognize me.
"'I've been busy all day, cap'in,' said he; 'but the fact is'--
"I was afraid that I would be obliged to stand there in the cold and
listen to a long, uninteresting yarn, so I interrupted him.
"'Speak quick, and don't keep me waiting.'
"'Wal, cap'in,' said he, 'I heerd you are in want of officers, an' I come to
get a place for my son; I hear the wages are purty good.'
"'Yes,' I replied, 'we do want officers; but does your son know anything
about a ship?'
"'Oh, yes? He's run the river as deck-hand for goin' nigh on to three
year.'
"'Then he ought to know something, certainly. Come around tomorrow
morning, at nine o'clock exactly, and I'll see what can be done for you.
Now, mind, I say nine o'clock in the morning.'
"Well, the next morning, at the appointed time, to my utter

astonishment, the man was on hand, and, as usual, commenced walking
up and down the floor with his squeaking boots. The noise disturbed
everyone within hearing, and presently the captain, who was in his
office, and so busy that he hardly knew what he was about, spoke in a
sharp tone:
"'Orderly, pull off those squeaking boots!'
"'It isn't me, sir.' said the orderly; 'it's a gentleman out here waiting to
see you, sir.'
"'Then send him in--send him in at once, so that I can get rid of that
noise.'
"The man was accordingly shown into the presence of the captain,
while I listened with both ears to hear what was said.
"'Mornin', cap'in,' he began; 'I reckon I'm here on time.'
"'Time! what time? What do you want?' inquired the captain, who
always spoke very fast, as though he were in a hurry to get through
with what he had to say. 'What do you want, my good man. Be lively
now.'
"'Why, cap'in, I come here to get that appointment for my son in this
ere navy.'
"'Appointment! For your son!' repeated the captain. 'Who is he? I never
heard of him.'
"'Wal, really now, cap'in, I'll be shot if you didn't tell me last night that
you would make my son an officer. The wages are good, I hear, an' as
I've a debt to pay off on the farm'--
"'Don't bother me!' interrupted the captain, beginning to get impatient.
"'But, cap'in,' urged the man, 'you can't bluff me off this 'ere way. You
told me last night that you wanted officers; you know I met you on the
stairs, and you promised, honor bright.'

"'Eh!' ejaculated the captain, in surprise,'my good man, allow me to
know what I'm about, will you? Will you allow me to know myself?
Orderly,' he continued, turning to that individual, who had stood by,
convulsed with laughter, which he was vainly endeavoring to conceal,
'orderly, do you think this man is in his right mind?'
"The orderly said he didn't know; but, taking the man by the arm,
showed him out of the office, telling him to come again, when the
captain was not quite so busy.
"The conversation had been carried on in a