Frank Mildmay | Page 8

gave him very much
that appearance. Ignorance, sheer ignorance, in this, as in many other
cases, was the cause of my disaster. A party of officers, in full uniform,
were coming from a court-martial. "Oh, oh!" said I, "here come some
of us." I seized my dirk in my left hand, as I saw they held their swords,
and I stuck my right hand into my bosom as some of them had done. I
tried to imitate their erect and officer-like bearing; I put my cocked-hat
on fore and aft, with the gold rosette dangling between my two eyes, so
that in looking at it, which I could not help doing, I must have squinted.
And I held my nose high in the air, like a pig in a hurricane, fancying
myself as much an object of admiration to them as I was to myself. We
passed on opposite tacks, and our respective velocities had separated us
to the distance of twenty or thirty yards, when one of them called out to
me in a voice evidently cracked in His Majesty's service--"Hello, young
gentleman, come back here."
I concluded I was going to be complimented on the cut of my coat, to
be asked the address of my tailor, and to hear the rakish sit of my hat
admired. I now began to think I should hear a contention between the
lords of the ocean, as to who should have me as a sample middy on
their quarter-decks; and I was even forming an excuse to my father's
friend for not joining his ship. Judge then of my surprise and
mortification, when I was thus accosted in an angry and menacing tone

by the oldest of the officers--"Pray, sir, what ship do you belong to?"
"Sir," said I, proud to be thus interrogated, "I belong to His Majesty's
ship the Le ---" (having a French name, I clapped on both the French
and English articles, as being more impressive.)
"Oh, you do, do you?" said the veteran, with an air of conscious
superiority; "then you will be so good as to turn round, go down to
Mutton Cove, take a boat, and have your person conveyed with all
possible speed on board of His Majesty's ship the Le ---" (imitating me);
"and tell the first lieutenant it is my order that you be not allowed any
more leave while the ship is in port; and I shall tell your captain he
must teach his officers better manners than to pass the port-admiral
without touching their hats."
While this harangue was going on, I stood in a circle, of which I was
the centre, and the admiral and the captains formed the circumference:
what little air there was their bodies intercepted, so that I was not only
in a stew, but stupefied into the bargain.
"There, sir, you hear me--you may go."
"Yes, I do hear you," thinks I; "but how the devil am I to get away from
you?" for the cruel captains, like schoolboys round a rat-trap, stood so
close that I could not start. Fortunately, this my blockade, which they
no doubt intended for their amusement, saved me for that time. I
recollected myself, and said, with affected simplicity of manner, that I
had that morning put on my uniform for the first time; that I had never
seen my captain, and never was on board a ship in all my life. At this
explanation, the countenance of the admiral relaxed into something that
was meant for a smile, and the captains all burst into a loud laugh.
"Well, young man," said the admiral--who was really a good-tempered
fellow, though an old one--"well, young man, since you have never
been at sea, it is some excuse for not knowing good manners; there is
no necessity now for delivering my message to the first lieutenant, but
you may go on board your ship."

Having seen me well roasted, the captains opened right and left, and let
me pass. As I left them I heard one say, "Just caught--marks of the
dogs' teeth in his heels, I warrant you."
I did not stop to make any reply, but sneaked away, mortified and
crest-fallen, and certainly obeyed this, the first order which I had ever
received in the service, with more exactness than I ever did any
subsequent one.
During the remainder of my walk, I touched my hat to every one I met.
I conferred the honour of salute on midshipmen, master's mates,
sergeants of marines, and two corporals. Nor was I aware of my over
complaisance, until a young woman, dressed like a lady, who knew
more of the navy than I did, asked me if I had come down to stand for
the borough? Without knowing what she meant, I