Frank Mildmay | Page 3

to bid defiance to the opposition. It
will readily be supposed that a lad of my acuteness did not omit any
technical management for the purpose of disguise; the fruits which I
presented were generally soiled with dirt at the ends of the stalks, in
such a manner as to give them all the appearance of "felo de se," i.e.
fell of itself. Thus, in the course of a few months, did I become an
adept of vice, from the mismanagement of those into whose hands I
was intrusted to be strengthened in religion and virtue.
Fortunately for me, as far as my education was concerned, I did not
long continue to hold this honourable and lucrative employment. One
of those unhappy beings called an usher peeped into my chest, and by

way of acquiring popularity with the mistress and scholars, forthwith
denounced me to the higher powers. The proofs of my peculation were
too glaring, and the amount too serious, to be passed over; I was tried,
convicted, condemned, sentenced, flogged, and dismissed in the course
of half an hour; and such was the degree of turpitude attached to me on
this occasion, that I was rendered for ever incapable of serving in that
or any other employment connected with the garden or farm; I was
placed at the bottom of the list, and declared to be the worst boy in the
school.
This in many points of view was too true; but there was one boy who
bade fair to rival me on the score of delinquency; this was Tom
Crauford, who from that day became my most intimate friend. Tom
was a fine spirited fellow, up to everything, loved mischief, though not
vicious, and was ready to support me in everything through thick and
thin; and truly I found him sufficient employment. I threw off all
disguise, laughed at any suggestion of reform, which I considered as
not only useless, but certain of subjecting me to ridicule and contempt
among my associates. I therefore adopted the motto of some great man,
"to be rather than seem to be." I led in every danger; declared war
against all drivellers and half-measures; stole everything that was
eatable from garden, orchard, or hen-house, knowing full well that
whether I did so or not, I should be equally suspected. Thenceforward
all fruit missed, all arrows shot into pigs, all stones thrown into the
windows, and all mud spattered over clean linen hung out to dry, were
traced to Tom and myself; and with the usual alacrity of an arbitrary
police, the space between apprehension and punishment was very
short--we were constantly brought before the master, and as regularly
dismissed with "his blessing," till we became hardened to blows and to
shame.
Thus, by the covetousness of this woman, who was the grey mare, and
the folly of the master, who, in anything but Greek and Latin, was an
ass, my good principles were nearly eradicated from my bosom, and in
their place were sown seeds which very shortly produced an abundant
harvest.

There was a boy at our school lately imported from the East Indies. We
nick-named him Johnny Pagoda. He was remarkable for nothing but
ignorance, impudence, great personal strength, and, as we thought,
determined resolution. He was about nineteen years of age. One day he
incurred the displeasure of the master, who, enraged at his want of
comprehension and attention, struck him over the head with the knotted
cane. This appeal, although made to the least sensitive part of his frame,
roused the indolent Asiatic from his usual torpid state. The weapon, in
the twinkling of an eye, was snatched out of the hand, and suspended
over the head of the astonished pedagogue, who, seeing the tables so
suddenly turned against him, made the signal for assistance. I clapped
my hands, shouted "Bravo! lay on, Johnny--go it--you have done it
now--you may as well be hanged for a sheep as a lamb;" but the ushers
began to muster round, the boys hung aloof, and Pagoda, uncertain
which side the neutrals would take, laid down his arms, and
surrendered at discretion.
Had the East-Indian followed up his act by the application of a little
discipline at the fountain-head, it is more than probable that a popular
commotion, not unlike that of Masaniello, would have ensued; but the
time was not come--the Indian showed a white feather, was laughed at,
flogged, and sent home to his friends, who had intended him for the bar;
but foreseeing that he might, in the course of events, chance to cut a
figure on the wrong side of it, sent him to sea, where his valour, if he
had any, would find more profitable employment.
This unsuccessful attempt of the young Oriental was the primary cause
of