Frank Fairlegh | Page 6

on the hearthrug. I made a point of conscience of it myself when I first came. The Spartans, you know, never allowed their little boys to do so, and even the Athenians, a much more luxurious people, always had their pinafores made of asbestos, or some such fireproof stuff. You are well read in Walker's History of Greece, I hope?" I replied that I was afraid I was not. "Never read Hookeyus Magnus? Your father ought to be ashamed of himself for neglecting you so. You are aware, I suppose, that the Greeks had a different sort of fire from what we burn nowadays? You've heard of Greek fire?"
I answered that I had, but did not exactly understand what it meant.
"Not know that, either? disgraceful! Well, it was a kind of way they had of flaring up in those times a sort of 'light of other days,' which enabled them to give their friends a warm reception; so much so, indeed, that their friends found it too warm sometimes, and latterly they usually reserved it for their enemies. Mind you remember all this, for it is one of the first things old Sam will be sure to ask you."
Did my ears deceive me? Could he have called the tutor, the dreaded tutor, "old Sam"? I trembled as I stood--plain, unhonoured "Sam," as though he had spoken of a footman! The room turned round with me. Alas for Sandford and Merton, and affectionate and respectful esteem!
"But how's this?" continued Lawless, "we have ~10~~forgotten to introduce you in form to your companions, and to enter your name in the books of the establishment; why, Cumberland, what were you thinking of?"
"Beg pardon," rejoined Cumberland, "I really was so buried in thought, trying to solve that problem about bisecting the Siamese twins--you know it, Lawless? However, it is not too late, is it? Allow me to introduce you, Mr. Fairplay------"
"Legh, sir," interrupted I.
"Ah, exactly; well, then, Mr. Fairlegh, let me introduce this gentleman, Mr. George Lawless, who has, if I mistake not, been already trying, with his usual benevolence, to supply a few of your deficiencies; he is, if he will allow me to say so, one of the most rising young men of his generation, one of the firmest props of the glorious edifice of our rights and privileges."
"A regular brick," interposed Coleman. "Hold your tongue, Freddy: little boys should be seen and not heard, as Tacitus tells us," said Lawless, reprovingly.
The only reply to this, if reply it could be called, was something which sounded to me like a muttered reference to the Greek historian Walker, whom Lawless had so lately mentioned; and Cumberland continued:--
"You will pay great attention to everything Lawless tells you, and endeavour to improve by following his example, at a respectful distance--ahem! The gentleman on your right hand, Mr. Mullins, who is chiefly remarkable for looking ['like a fool,' put in Coleman, sotto voce], before he leaps, so long, that in general he postpones leaping altogether, and is in the habit of making ['an ass of himself,' suggested Coleman]--really, Freddy, I am surprised at you--of making two bites at a cherry--you will be better able to appreciate when you know more of him. As to my young friend Freddy here, his naturally good abilities and amiable temper ['Draw it mild, old fellow!' interrupted the young gentleman in question] have interested us so much in his favour that we cannot but view with regret a habit he has of late fallen into, of turning everything into ridicule ['What a pity!' from the same individual], together with a lamentable addiction to the use of slang terms. Let me hope his association with such a polished young gentleman as Mr. Fairlegh may improve him in these particulars."
"Who drank Mildman's ale at dinner?" asked Coleman; "if that's a specimen of his polished manners, I think mine take the shine out of them, rather." ~11~~"I assure you," interrupted I, eagerly, "I never was more distressed in my life; it was quite a mistake."
"Pretty good mistake--Hodgson's pale ale for Muddytub's swipes--eh, Mull?" rejoined Coleman.
"I believe you," replied Mullins.
"Well, now for entering your name; that's important, you know," said Lawless; "you had better ring the bell, and tell Thomas to bring the books."
I obeyed, and when Thomas made his appearance informed him of my desire to enter my name in the books of the establishment, which I begged he would bring for that purpose. A look of bewilderment that came over his face on hearing my request changed to an expression of intelligence, as, after receiving some masonic sign from Lawless, he replied:--
"The books, sir; yes, sir; bring 'em directly, sir ".
After a few minutes he returned with two small, not overclean, books, ruled with blue lines. One of these Lawless took from him, opened