Five Little Plays | Page 9

the Morning Post to-morrow: "A Marriage Has Been Arranged Between--"
ALINE. [_Bewildered and offended._] Mr. Crockstead! This--this is--
CROCKSTEAD. [_Always in the same quiet tone._] Because I have not yet proposed, you mean? Of course I intend to, Lady Aline. Only as I know that you will accept me--
ALINE. [_In icy tones, as she rises._] Let us go back to the ball-room.
CROCKSTEAD. [_Quite undisturbed._] Oh, please! That won't help us, you know. Do sit down. I assure you I have never proposed before, so that naturally I am a trifle nervous. Of course I know that we are only supers really, without much of a speaking part; but the spirit moves me to gag, in the absence of the stage-manager, who is, let us say, the Duchess--
ALINE. I have heard of the New Humour, Mr. Crockstead, though I confess I have never understood it. This may be an exquisite example--
CROCKSTEAD. By no means. I am merely trying to do the right thing, though perhaps not the conventional one. Before making you the formal offer of my hand and fortune, which amounts to a little over three millions--
ALINE. [_Fanning herself._] How people exaggerate! Between six and seven, I heard.
CROCKSTEAD. Only three at present, but we must be patient. Before throwing myself at your feet, metaphorically, I am anxious that you should know something of the man whom you are about to marry.
ALINE. That is really most considerate!
CROCKSTEAD. I have the advantage of you, you see, inasmuch as you have many dear friends, who have told me all about you.
ALINE. [_With growing exasperation, but keeping very cool._] Indeed?
CROCKSTEAD. I am aware, for instance, that this is your ninth season--
ALINE. [_Snapping her fan._] You are remarkably well-informed.
CROCKSTEAD. I have been told that again to-night, three times, by charming young women who vowed that they loved you. Now, as I have no dearest friends, it is unlikely that you will have heard anything equally definite concerning myself. I propose to enlighten you.
ALINE. [_Satirically._] The story of your life--how thrilling!
CROCKSTEAD. I trust you may find it so. [_He sits, and pauses for a moment, then begins, very quietly._] Lady Aline, I am a self-made man, as the foolish phrase has it--a man whose early years were spent in savage and desolate places, where the devil had much to say; a man in whom whatever there once had been of natural kindness was very soon kicked out. I was poor, and lonely, for thirty-two years: I have been rich, and lonely, for ten. My millions have been made honestly enough; but poverty and wretchedness had left their mark on me, and you will find very few men with a good word to say for Harrison Crockstead. I have no polish, or culture, or tastes. Art wearies me, literature sends me to sleep--
ALINE. When you come to the chapter of your personal deficiencies, Mr. Crockstead, please remember that they are sufficiently evident for me to have already observed them.
CROCKSTEAD. [_Without a trace of annoyance._] That is true. I will pass, then, to more intimate matters. In a little township in Australia--a horrible place where there was gold--I met a woman whom I loved. She was what is technically known as a bad woman. She ran away with another man. I tracked them to Texas, and in a mining camp there I shot the man. I wanted to take the woman back, but she refused. That has been my solitary love affair; and I shall never love any woman again as I loved her. I think that is all that I have to tell you. And now--will you marry me, Lady Aline?
ALINE. [_Very steadily, facing him._] Not if you were the last man in this world, Mr. Crockstead.
CROCKSTEAD. [_With a pleasant smile._] At least that is emphatic.
ALINE. See, I will give you confidence for confidence. This is, as you suggest, my ninth season. Living in an absurd milieu where marriage with a wealthy man is regarded as the one aim in life, I have, during the past few weeks, done all that lay in my power to wring a proposal from you.
CROCKSTEAD. I appreciate your sincerity.
ALINE. Perhaps the knowledge that other women were doing the same lent a little zest to the pursuit, which otherwise would have been very dreary; for I confess that your personality did not--especially appeal to me.
CROCKSTEAD. [_Cheerfully._] Thank you very much.
ALINE. Not at all. Indeed, this room being the Palace of Truth, I will admit that it was only by thinking hard of your three millions that I have been able to conceal the weariness I have felt in your society. And now will you marry me, Mr. Crockstead?
CROCKSTEAD. [_Serenely._] I fancy that's what we're here for, isn't it?
ALINE. [_Stamping her foot._] I have, of course, been debarred from the disreputable amours on which you