Fifty-One Tales | Page 4

masses of old centuries that hide the sodden bulk of
sunken Tyre and make a darkness round Persepolis.
For the rest I dimly see the forms of foundered ships on the sea-floor
strewn with crowns.
Our ships were all unseaworthy from the first.
There goes the raft that Homer made for Helen.

THE WORKMAN
I saw a workman fall with his scaffolding right from the summit of
some vast hotel. And as he came down I saw him holding a knife and
trying to cut his name on the scaffolding. He had time to try and do this
for he must have had nearly three hundred feet to fall. And I could
think of nothing but his folly in doing this futile thing, for not only
would the man be unrecognizably dead in three seconds, but the very
pole on which he tried to scratch whatever of his name he had time for
was certain to be burnt in a few weeks for firewood.
Then I went home for I had work to do. And all that evening I thought
of the man's folly, till the thought hindered me from serious work.
And late that night while I was still at work, the ghost of the workman

floated through my wall and stood before me laughing.
I heard no sound until after I spoke to it; but I could see the grey
diaphanous form standing before me shuddering with laughter.
I spoke at last and asked what it was laughing at, and then the ghost
spoke. It said: "I'm a laughin' at you sittin' and workin' there."
"And why," I asked, "do you laugh at serious work?"
"Why, yer bloomin' life 'ull go by like a wind," he said, "and yer 'ole
silly civilization 'ull be tidied up in a few centuries."
Then he fell to laughing again and this time audibly; and, laughing still,
faded back through the wall again and into the eternity from which he
had come.

THE GUEST
A young man came into an ornate restaurant at eight o'clock in London.
He was alone, but two places had been laid at the table which was
reserved for him. He had chosen the dinner very carefully, by letter a
week before.
A waiter asked him about the other guest.
"You probably won't see him till the coffee comes," the young man told
him; so he was served alone.
Those at adjacent tables might have noticed the young man continually
addressing the empty chair and carrying on a monologue with it
throughout his elaborate dinner.
"I think you knew my father," he said to it over the soup.
"I sent for you this evening," he continued, "because I want you to do

me a good turn; in fact I must insist on it."
There was nothing eccentric about the man except for this habit of
addressing an empty chair, certainly he was eating as good a dinner as
any sane man could wish for.
After the Burgundy had been served he became more voluble in his
monologue, not that he spoiled his wine by drinking excessively.
"We have several acquaintances in common," he said. "I met King Seti
a year ago in Thebes. I think he has altered very little since you knew
him. I thought his forehead a little low for a king's. Cheops has left the
house that he built for your reception, he must have prepared for you
for years and years. I suppose you have seldom been entertained like
that. I ordered this dinner over a week ago. I thought then that a lady
might have come with me, but as she wouldn't I've asked you. She may
not after all be as lovely as Helen of Troy. Was Helen very lovely? Not
when you knew her, perhaps. You were lucky in Cleopatra, you must
have known her when she was in her prime.
"You never knew the mermaids nor the fairies nor the lovely goddesses
of long ago, that's where we have the best of you."
He was silent when the waiters came to his table, but rambled merrily
on as soon as they left, still turned to the empty chair.
"You know I saw you here in London only the other day. You were on
a motor bus going down Ludgate Hill. It was going much too fast.
London is a good place. But I shall be glad enough to leave it. It was in
London that I met the lady I that was speaking about. If it hadn't been
for London I probably shouldn't have met her, and if it hadn't been for
London she probably wouldn't have had so much besides me to amuse
her. It cuts both ways."
He paused once to order coffee, gazing earnestly at the waiter