Fanny and the Servant Problem | Page 3

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FANNY AND THE SERVANT PROBLEM
by Jerome K. Jerome

THE CHARACTERS
Fanny Her Husband, Vernon Wetherell, Lord Bantock Her Butler,
Martin Bennet Her Housekeeper, Susannah Bennet Her Maid, Jane
Bennet Her Second Footman, Ernest Bennet Her Still-room Maid,
Honoria Bennet Her Aunts by marriage, the Misses Wetherell Her
Local Medical Man, Dr. Freemantle Her quondam Companions, "Our
Empire": England Scotland Ireland Wales Canada Australia New
Zealand Africa India Newfoundland Malay Archipelago Straits
Settlements Her former Business Manager, George P. Newte

ACT I

SCENE
The Lady Bantock's boudoir, Bantock Hall, Rutlandshire, a spacious
room handsomely furnished (chiefly in the style of Louis the
Fourteenth) and lighted by three high windows, facing the south-west.
A door between the fireplace and the windows leads to his lordship's
apartments. A door the other side of the fireplace is the general
entrance. The door opposite the windows leads through her ladyship's
dressing-room into her ladyship's bedroom. Over the great fireplace

hangs a full-length portrait of Constance, first Lady Bantock, by
Hoppner.
The time is sunset of a day in early spring. The youthful Lord Bantock
is expected home with his newly wedded wife this evening; and the two
Misses Wetherell, his aunts, have been busy decorating the room with
flowers, and are nearing the end of their labours. The two Misses
Wetherell have grown so much alike it would be difficult for a stranger
to tell one from the other; and to add to his confusion they have fallen
into the habit of dressing much alike in a fashion of their own that went
out long ago, while the hair of both is white, and even in their voices
they have caught each other's tones.
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL [she has paused from her work and
is looking out of the windows]. Such a lovely sunset, dear.
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL [she leaves her work and joins
her sister. The two stand holding each other's hands, looking out].
Beautiful! [A silence. The sun is streaming full into the room.]
You--you don't think, dear, that this room--[she looks round it]--may
possibly be a little TOO sunny to quite suit her?
THE ELDER MISS WETHERELL [not at first understanding]. How,
dear, TOO sun--[She grasps the meaning.] You mean--you think that
perhaps she does that sort of thing?
THE YOUNGER MISS WETHERELL. Well, dear, one is always
given to understand that they do, women--ladies of her profession.
THE