Fanny and the Servant Problem | Page 9

it, would hardly relish the discovery that he had married his butler's niece. He might consider the situation awkward.
FANNY. And who's going to train me?
BENNET. I am. With the assistance of your aunt and such other members of your family as I consider can be trusted.
FANNY [for a moment she is speechless, then she bursts out]. That ends it! I shall tell him! I shall tell him this very moment. [She sweeps towards the door.]
BENNET. At this moment you will most likely find his lordship in his bath.
FANNY. I don't care! Do you think--do you think for a moment that I'm going to allow myself--I, Lady Bantock, to be--[Her hand upon the door.] I shall tell him, and you'll only have yourself to blame. He loves me. He loves me for myself. I shall tell him the whole truth, and ask him to give you all the sack.
BENNET. You're not forgetting that you've already told him ONCE who you were?
[It stops her. What she really did was to leave the marriage arrangements in the hands of her business manager, George P. Newte. As agent for a music-hall star, he is ideal, but it is possible that in answering Lord Bantock's inquiries concerning Fanny's antecedents he may not have kept strictly to the truth.]
FANNY. I never did. I've never told him anything about my family.
BENNET. Curious. I was given to understand it was rather a classy affair.
FANNY. I can't help what other people may have done. Because some silly idiot of a man may possibly--[She will try a new tack. She leaves the door and comes to him.] Uncle, dear, wouldn't it be simpler for you all to go away? He's awfully fond of me. He'll do anything I ask him. I could merely say that I didn't like you and get him to pension you off. You and aunt could have a little roadside inn somewhere--with ivy.
BENNET. Seeing that together with the stables and the garden there are twenty-three of us -
FANNY. No, of course, he couldn't pension you all. You couldn't expect -
BENNET. I think his lordship might prefer to leave things as they are. Good servants nowadays are not so easily replaced. And neither your aunt nor I are at an age when change appeals to one.
FANNY. You see, it's almost bound to creep out sooner or later, and then -
BENNET. We will make it as late as possible [He crosses and rings the bell], giving you time to prove to his lordship that you are not incapable of learning.
FANNY [she drops back on the settee. She is half-crying.] Some people would be pleased that their niece had married well.
BENNET. I am old-fashioned enough to think also of my duty to those I serve. If his lordship has done me the honour to marry my niece, the least I can is to see to it that she brings no discredit to his name. [Mrs. Bennet, followed by Jane Bennet, a severe-looking woman of middle age, has entered upon the words "the least I can do." Bennet stays them a moment with his hand while he finishes. Then he turns to his wife.] You will be interested to find, Susannah, that the new Lady Bantock is not a stranger.
MRS. BENNET. Not a stranger! [She has reached a position from where she sees the girl.] Fanny! You wicked girl! Where have you been all these years?
BENNET [interposing]. There will be other opportunities for the discussion of family differences. Just now, her ladyship is waiting to dress for dinner.
MRS. BENNET [sneering]. Her ladyship!
JANE [also sneering]. I think she might have forewarned us of the honour in store for us.
MRS. BENNET. Yes, why didn't she write?
FANNY. Because I didn't know. Do you think--[she rises]--that if I had I would ever have married him--to be brought back here and put in this ridiculous position? Do you think that I am so fond of you all that I couldn't keep away from you, at any price?
MRS. BENNET. But you must have known that Lord Bantock -
FANNY. I didn't know he was Lord Bantock. I only knew him as Mr. Wetherell, an artist. He wanted to feel sure that I was marrying him for himself alone. He never told me--[Ernest Bennet, a very young footman, has entered in answer to Bennet's ring of a minute ago. He has come forward step by step, staring all the while open-mouthed at Fanny. Turning, she sees him beside her.] Hulloa, Ernie. How are the rabbits? [She kisses him.]
BENNET. Don't stand there gaping. I rang for some wood. Tell your brother dinner will be at a quarter to eight.
Ernest, never speaking, still staring at Fanny, gets clumsily out again.
FANNY. Well, I suppose I'd better see about dressing? Do I dine with his lordship or in the servants' hall?
MRS. BENNET