Fables for the Frivolous | Page 2

sun,
When a
young and flippant rabbit
Happened by the ditch to run:
"Come and

race me," he exclaimed,
"Fat inhabitant of puddles.
Sluggard! You
should be ashamed.
Such a life the brain befuddles."
This, of course, was banter merely,
But it stirred the torpid blood

Of the turtle, and severely
Forth he issued from the mud.
"Done!"
he cried. The race began,
But the hare resumed his banter,
Seeing
how his rival ran
In a most unlovely canter.
Shouting, "Terrapin, you're bested!
You'd be wiser, dear old chap,

If you sat you down and rested
When you reach the second lap."

Quoth the turtle, "I refuse.
As for you, with all your talking,
Sit on
any lap you choose.
_I_ shall simply go on walking."
Now this sporting proposition
Was, upon its face, absurd;
Yet the
hare, with expedition,
Took the tortoise at his word,
Ran until the
final lap,
Then, supposing he'd outclassed him,
Laid him down and
took a nap
And the patient turtle passed him!
Plodding on, he shortly made the
Line that marked the victor's goal;

Paused, and found he'd won, and laid the
Flattering unction to his
soul.
Then in fashion grandiose,
Like an after-dinner speaker,

Touched his flipper to his nose,
And remarked, "Ahem! Eureka!"
And THE MORAL (lest you miss one)
Is: There's often time to spare,

And that races are (like this one)
Won not always by a hair.
THE PATRICIAN PEACOCKS
AND
THE OVERWEENING JAY
Once a flock of stately peacocks
Promenaded on a green,
There
were twenty-two or three cocks,
Each as proud as seventeen,
And a
glance, however hasty,
Showed their plumage to be tasty;



Wheresoever one was placed, he
Was a credit to the scene.
Now their owner had a daughter
Who, when people came to call,

Used to say, "You'd reelly oughter
See them peacocks on the mall."

Now this wasn't to her credit,
And her callers came to dread it,

For the way the lady said it
Wasn't recherche at all.
But a jay that overheard it
From his perch upon a fir
Didn't take in
how absurd it
Was to every one but her;
When they answered, "You
don't tell us!"
And to see the birds seemed zealous
He became
extremely jealous,
Wishing, too, to make a stir.
As the peacocks fed together
He would join them at their lunch,

Culling here and there a feather
Till he'd gathered quite a bunch;

Then this bird, of ways perfidious,
Stuck them on him most fastidious

Till he looked uncommon hideous,
Like a Judy or a Punch.
But the peacocks, when they saw him,
One and all began to haul,

And to harry and to claw him
Till the creature couldn't crawl;
While
their owner's vulgar daughter,
When her startled callers sought her,

And to see the struggle brought her,
Only said, "They're on the maul."
It was really quite revolting
When the tumult died away,
One would
think he had been moulting
So dishevelled was the jay;
He was
more than merely slighted,
He was more than disunited,
He'd been
simply dynamited
In the fervor of the fray.
And THE MORAL of the verses
Is: That short men can't be tall.

Nothing sillier or worse is
Than a jay upon a mall.
And the jay
opiniative
Who, because he's imitative,
Thinks he's highly
decorative
Is the biggest jay of all.
THE ARROGANT FROG
AND

THE SUPERIOR BULL
Once, on a time and in a place
Conducive to malaria,
There lived a
member of the race
Of Rana Temporaria;
Or, more concisely still,
a frog
Inhabited a certain bog.
A bull of Brobdingnagian size,
Too proud for condescension,
One
morning chanced to cast his eyes
Upon the frog I mention;
And,
being to the manner born,
Surveyed him with a lofty scorn.
Perceiving this, the bactrian's frame
With anger was inflated,
Till,
growing larger, he became
Egregiously elated;
For inspiration's
sudden spell
Had pointed out a way to swell.
"Ha! ha!" he proudly cried, "a fig
For this, your mammoth torso!

Just watch me while I grow as big
As you--or even more so!"
To
which magniloquential gush
His bullship simply answered "Tush!"
Alas! the frog's success was slight,
Which really was a wonder,
In
view of how with main and might
He strove to grow rotunder!
And,
standing patiently the while,
The bull displayed a quiet smile.
[Illustration: "HE STROVE TO GROW ROTUNDER"]
But ah, the frog tried once too oft
And, doing so, he busted;

Whereat the bull discreetly coughed
And moved away, disgusted,

As well he might, considering
The wretched taste that marked the
thing.
THE MORAL: Everybody knows
How ill a wind it is that blows.
THE DOMINEERING EAGLE
AND
THE INVENTIVE BRATLING

O'er a small suburban borough
Once an eagle used to fly,
Making
observations thorough
From his station in the sky,
And presenting
the appearance
Of an animated V,
Like the gulls that lend
coherence
Unto paintings of the sea.
Looking downward at a church in
This attractive little shire,
He
beheld a smallish urchin
Shooting arrows at the spire;
In a spirit of
derision,
"Look alive!" the eagle said;
And, with infinite precision,

Dropped a feather on his head.
Then the boy, annoyed distinctly
By the freedom of the bird,

Voiced his anger quite succinctly
In a single scathing word;
And he
sat him on a barrow,
And he fashioned of this same
Eagle's feather
such an arrow
As was worthy of the name.
Then he tried his bow, and, stringing
It with caution and with care,

Sent that arrow singing, winging
Towards the eagle in the air.

Straight it went, without an error,
And