Fables for the Frivolous | Page 2

"Terrapin, you're bested!?You'd be wiser, dear old chap,?If you sat you down and rested?When you reach the second lap."?Quoth the turtle, "I refuse.?As for you, with all your talking,?Sit on any lap you choose.?_I_ shall simply go on walking."
Now this sporting proposition?Was, upon its face, absurd;?Yet the hare, with expedition,?Took the tortoise at his word,?Ran until the final lap,?Then, supposing he'd outclassed him,?Laid him down and took a nap?And the patient turtle passed him!
Plodding on, he shortly made the?Line that marked the victor's goal;?Paused, and found he'd won, and laid the?Flattering unction to his soul.?Then in fashion grandiose,?Like an after-dinner speaker,?Touched his flipper to his nose,?And remarked, "Ahem! Eureka!"
And THE MORAL (lest you miss one)?Is: There's often time to spare,?And that races are (like this one)?Won not always by a hair.
THE PATRICIAN PEACOCKS
AND
THE OVERWEENING JAY
Once a flock of stately peacocks?Promenaded on a green,?There were twenty-two or three cocks,?Each as proud as seventeen,?And a glance, however hasty,?Showed their plumage to be tasty;?Wheresoever one was placed, he?Was a credit to the scene.
Now their owner had a daughter?Who, when people came to call,?Used to say, "You'd reelly oughter?See them peacocks on the mall."?Now this wasn't to her credit,?And her callers came to dread it,?For the way the lady said it?Wasn't recherche at all.
But a jay that overheard it?From his perch upon a fir?Didn't take in how absurd it?Was to every one but her;?When they answered, "You don't tell us!"?And to see the birds seemed zealous?He became extremely jealous,?Wishing, too, to make a stir.
As the peacocks fed together?He would join them at their lunch,?Culling here and there a feather?Till he'd gathered quite a bunch;?Then this bird, of ways perfidious,?Stuck them on him most fastidious?Till he looked uncommon hideous,?Like a Judy or a Punch.
But the peacocks, when they saw him,?One and all began to haul,?And to harry and to claw him?Till the creature couldn't crawl;?While their owner's vulgar daughter,?When her startled callers sought her,?And to see the struggle brought her,?Only said, "They're on the maul."
It was really quite revolting?When the tumult died away,?One would think he had been moulting?So dishevelled was the jay;?He was more than merely slighted,?He was more than disunited,?He'd been simply dynamited?In the fervor of the fray.
And THE MORAL of the verses?Is: That short men can't be tall.?Nothing sillier or worse is?Than a jay upon a mall.?And the jay opiniative?Who, because he's imitative,?Thinks he's highly decorative?Is the biggest jay of all.
THE ARROGANT FROG
AND
THE SUPERIOR BULL
Once, on a time and in a place?Conducive to malaria,?There lived a member of the race?Of Rana Temporaria;?Or, more concisely still, a frog?Inhabited a certain bog.
A bull of Brobdingnagian size,?Too proud for condescension,?One morning chanced to cast his eyes?Upon the frog I mention;?And, being to the manner born,?Surveyed him with a lofty scorn.
Perceiving this, the bactrian's frame?With anger was inflated,?Till, growing larger, he became?Egregiously elated;?For inspiration's sudden spell?Had pointed out a way to swell.
"Ha! ha!" he proudly cried, "a fig?For this, your mammoth torso!?Just watch me while I grow as big?As you--or even more so!"?To which magniloquential gush?His bullship simply answered "Tush!"
Alas! the frog's success was slight,?Which really was a wonder,?In view of how with main and might?He strove to grow rotunder!?And, standing patiently the while,?The bull displayed a quiet smile.
[Illustration: "HE STROVE TO GROW ROTUNDER"]
But ah, the frog tried once too oft?And, doing so, he busted;?Whereat the bull discreetly coughed?And moved away, disgusted,?As well he might, considering?The wretched taste that marked the thing.
THE MORAL: Everybody knows?How ill a wind it is that blows.
THE DOMINEERING EAGLE
AND
THE INVENTIVE BRATLING
O'er a small suburban borough?Once an eagle used to fly,?Making observations thorough?From his station in the sky,?And presenting the appearance?Of an animated V,?Like the gulls that lend coherence?Unto paintings of the sea.
Looking downward at a church in?This attractive little shire,?He beheld a smallish urchin?Shooting arrows at the spire;?In a spirit of derision,?"Look alive!" the eagle said;?And, with infinite precision,?Dropped a feather on his head.
Then the boy, annoyed distinctly?By the freedom of the bird,?Voiced his anger quite succinctly?In a single scathing word;?And he sat him on a barrow,?And he fashioned of this same?Eagle's feather such an arrow?As was worthy of the name.
Then he tried his bow, and, stringing?It with caution and with care,?Sent that arrow singing, winging?Towards the eagle in the air.?Straight it went, without an error,?And the target, bathed in blood,?Lurched, and lunged, and fell to _terra?Firma_, landing with a thud.
"Bird of freedom," quoth the urchin,?With an unrelenting frown,?"You shall decorate a perch in?The menagerie in town;?But of feathers quite a cluster?I shall first remove for Ma:?Thanks to you, she'll have a duster?For her precious objets d'art."
And THE MORAL is that pride is?The precursor of a fall.?Those beneath you to deride is?Not expedient at all.?Howsoever meek and humble?Your inferiors may be,?They perchance may make you tumble,?So respect them. Q. E. D.
THE ICONOCLASTIC RUSTIC
AND
THE APROPOS ACORN
Reposing 'neath some spreading trees,?A populistic bumpkin?Amused