Essays of Francis Bacon | Page 8

many times
sorteth to discord when they are men, and disturbeth families. The
Italians make little difference between children, and nephews or near
kinsfolks; but so they be of the lump, they care not though they pass
not through their own body. And, to say truth, in nature it is much a

like matter; insomuch that we see a nephew sometimes resembleth an
uncle, or a kinsman, more than his own parent; as the blood happens.
Let parents choose betimes, the vocations and courses they mean their
children should take; for then they are most flexible; and let them not
too much apply themselves to the disposition of their children, as
thinking they will take best to that, which they have most mind to. It is
true, that if the affection or aptness of the children be extraordinary,
then it is good not to cross it; but generally the precept is good,
optimum elige, suave et facile illud faciet consuetudo. Younger
brothers are commonly fortunate, but seldom or never where the elder
are disinherited.

Of Marriage
AND SINGLE LIFE

HE THAT hath wife and children hath given hostages to fortune; for
they are impediments to great enterprises, either of virtue or mischief.
Certainly the best works, and of greatest merit for the public, have
proceeded from the unmarried or childless men; which both in affection
and means, have married and endowed the public. Yet it were great
reason that those that have children, should have greatest care of future
times; unto which they know they must transmit their dearest pledges.
Some there are, who though they lead a single life, yet their thoughts
do end with themselves, and account future times impertinences. Nay,
there are some other, that account wife and children, but as bills of
charges. Nay more, there are some foolish rich covetous men, that take
a pride, in having no children, because they may be thought so much
the richer. For perhaps they have heard some talk, Such an one is a
great rich man, and another except to it, Yea, but he hath a great charge
of children; as if it were an abatement to his riches. But the most
ordinary cause of a single life, is liberty, especially in certain
self-pleasing and humorous minds, which are so sensible of every
restraint, as they will go near to think their girdles and garters, to be
bonds and shackles. Unmarried men are best friends, best masters, best

servants; but not always best subjects; for they are light to run away;
and almost all fugitives, are of that condition. A single life doth well
with churchmen; for charity will hardly water the ground, where it must
first fill a pool. It is indifferent for judges and magistrates; for if they be
facile and corrupt, you shall have a servant, five times worse than a
wife. For soldiers, I find the generals commonly in their hortatives, put
men in mind of their wives and children; and I think the despising of
marriage amongst the Turks, maketh the vulgar soldier more base.
Certainly wife and children are a kind of discipline of humanity; and
single men, though they may be many times more charitable, because
their means are less exhaust, yet, on the other side, they are more cruel
and hardhearted (good to make severe inquisitors), because their
tenderness is not so oft called upon. Grave natures, led by custom, and
therefore constant, are commonly loving husbands, as was said of
Ulysses, vetulam suam praetulit immortalitati. Chaste women are often
proud and froward, as presuming upon the merit of their chastity. It is
one of the best bonds, both of chastity and obedience, in the wife, if she
think her husband wise; which she will never do, if she find him jealous.
Wives are young men's mistresses; companions for middle age; and old
men's nurses. So as a man may have a quarrel to marry, when he will.
But yet he was reputed one of the wise men, that made answer to the
question, when a man should marry, - A young man not yet, an elder
man not at all. It is often seen that bad husbands, have very good wives;
whether it be, that it raiseth the price of their husband's kindness, when
it comes; or that the wives take a pride in their patience. But this never
fails, if the bad husbands were of their own choosing, against their
friends' consent; for then they will be sure to make good their own
folly.

Of Envy

THERE be none of the affections, which have been noted to fascinate
or bewitch, but love and envy. They both have vehement wishes; they
frame themselves readily into imaginations and suggestions; and they
come easily into the eye, especially upon