Entire Gutenberg Twain Texts | Page 4

went upstairs.
"Hiawatha" kept droning in my head--and so did my father's remarks about the sublimity and romance hidden in my subject, and also his injunction to beware of wasteful and exuberant fancy. I noticed, just here, that I had heedlessly brought the deed away with me; now at this moment came to me one of those rare moods of daring recklessness, such as I referred to a while ago. Without another thought, and in plain defiance of the fact that I knew my father meant me to write the romantic story of my half- brother's adventure and subsequent good fortune, I ventured to heed merely the letter of his remarks and ignore their spirit. I took the stupid "Warranty Deed" itself and chopped it up into Hiawathian blank verse without altering or leaving out three words, and without transposing six. It required loads of courage to go downstairs and face my father with my performance. I started three or four times before I finally got my pluck to where it would stick. But at last I said I would go down and read it to him if he threw me over the church for it. I stood up to begin, and he told me to come closer. I edged up a little, but still left as much neutral ground between us as I thought he would stand. Then I began. It would be useless for me to try to tell what conflicting emotions expressed themselves upon his face, nor how they grew more and more intense, as I proceeded; nor how a fell darkness descended upon his countenance, and he began to gag and swallow, and his hands began to work and twitch, as I reeled off line after line, with the strength ebbing out of me, and my legs trembling under me:
THE STORY OF A GALLANT DEED
THIS INDENTURE, made the tenth Day of November, in the year Of our Lord one thousand eight Hundred six-and-fifty,
Between Joanna S. E. Gray And Philip Gray, her husband, Of Salem City in the State Of Texas, of the first part,
And O. B. Johnson, of the town Of Austin, ditto, WITNESSETH: That said party of first part, For and in consideration
Of the sum of Twenty Thousand Dollars, lawful money of The U. S. of Americay, To them in hand now paid by said
Party of the second part, The due receipt whereof is here- By confessed and acknowledg-ed Having Granted, Bargained, Sold, Remised,
Released and Aliened and Conveyed, Confirmed, and by these presents do Grant and Bargain, Sell, Remise, Alien, Release, Convey, and Con-
Firm unto the said aforesaid Party of the second part, And to his heirs and assigns Forever and ever ALL
That certain lot or parcel of LAND situate in city of Dunkirk, County of Chautauqua, And likewise furthermore in York State
Bounded and described, to-wit, As follows, herein, namely BEGINNING at the distance of A hundred two-and-forty feet,
North-half-east, north-east-by north, East-north-east and northerly Of the northerly line of Mulligan street On the westerly line of Brannigan street,
And running thence due northerly On Brannigan street 200 feet, Thence at right angles westerly, North-west-by-west-and-west-half-west,
West-and-by-north, north-west-by-west, About--
I kind of dodged, and the boot-jack broke the looking-glass. I could have waited to see what became of the other missiles if I had wanted to, but I took no interest in such things.

INTRODUCTORY TO "MEMORANDA"
In taking upon myself the burden of editing a department in THE GALAXY magazine, I have been actuated by a conviction that I was needed, almost imperatively, in this particular field of literature. I have long felt that while the magazine literature of the day had much to recommend it, it yet lacked stability, solidity, weight. It seemed plain to me that too much space was given to poetry and romance, and not enough to statistics and agriculture. This defect it shall be my earnest endeavour to remedy. If I succeed, the simple consciousness that I have done a good deed will be a sufficient reward.**--[**Together with salary.]
In this department of mine the public may always rely upon finding exhaustive statistical tables concerning the finances of the country, the ratio of births and deaths; the percentage of increase of population, etc., etc.--in a word, everything in the realm of statistics that can make existence bright and beautiful.
Also, in my department will always be found elaborate condensations of the Patent Office Reports, wherein a faithful endeavour will at all times be made to strip the nutritious facts bare of that effulgence of imagination and sublimity of diction which too often mar the excellence of those great works.**--[** N. B.--No other magazine in the country makes a specialty of the Patent Office Reports.]
In my department will always be found ample excerpts from those able dissertations upon Political Economy which I have for a long time been contributing to