Entertainments for Home, Church and School | Page 9

facing opposite directions. Then, as the pianist begins to play, the others commence marching around the line of chairs, keeping time to the music. When this suddenly ceases, everybody tries to sit down, but as there is one less chair than players, somebody is left standing, and must remain out of the game. Then another chair is removed, and the march continues, until the chairs decrease to one, and the players to two.
Whichever of these succeeds in seating himself as the music stops, has won the game.
"WHAT D'YE BUY?"
This game may be played by any number from three to thirteen. There are a dozen good-sized pieces of cardboard, each bearing a colored illustration of one of the "trades" following, viz.: a milliner, a fishmonger, a greengrocer, plumber, a music-seller, a toyman, mason, a pastry-cook, a hardware-man, a tailor, a poulterer, and a doctor. Besides these there are a number of smaller tickets, half a dozen to each trade. Each of these has the name of the particular trade, and also the name of some article in which the particular tradesman in question may be considered to deal. A book accompanies the cards, containing a nonsense story, with a blank at the end of each sentence.
One of the players is chosen as leader, and the others each select a trade, receiving the appropriate picture, and the six cards containing the names of the articles in which the tradesman deals. He places his "sign" before him on the table, and holds the remainder of his cards in his hand. The leader then reads the story, and whenever he comes to one of the blanks, he glances towards one of the other players, who must immediately, under penalty of a forfeit, supply the blank with some article he sells, at the same time laying down the card bearing its name. The incongruity of the article named with the context make the fun of the game, which is heightened by the vigilance which each player must exercise in order to avoid a forfeit. Where the number of players is very small, each may undertake two or more trades.
We will give an illustration. The concluding words indicate the trade of the person at whom the leader glances to fill up a given hiatus.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I propose to relate some curious adventures which befell me and my wife Peggy the other day, but as I am troubled with a complaint called 'Non mi ricordo,' or the 'Can't remembers,' I shall want each of you to tell me what you sell; therefore, when I stop and look at one of you, you must be brisk in recommending your goods. Whoever does not name something before I count 'three' must pay a forfeit. Attention!
"Last Friday week I was awakened very early in the morning by a loud knocking at my door in Humguffin Court. I got up in a great fright, and put on"--(looks at Toyman, who replies, "A fool's cap and bells," and lays down that card).
"When I got downstairs, who should be there but a fat porter, with a knot, on which he carried"--(Poulterer) "a pound of pork sausages."
"'Hallo!' said I, 'my fellow, what do you want at this time of day?' He answered"--(Fishmonger) "'A cod's head and shoulders.'"
"'Get along with you,' I said; 'there's my neighbor, Dr. Drenchall, I see, wants'"--(Butcher) "'a sheep's head.'"
"I now went up to shave, but my soap-dish was gone, and the maid brought me instead"--(Milliner) "a lady's chip hat."
"My razor had been taken to chop firewood, so I used"--(Greengrocer) "a cucumber."
"I then washed my face in"--(Doctor) "a cup of quinine," "cleaned my teeth with"--(Fishmonger) "a fresh herring," and "combed my hair with"--(Pastrycook) "a jam tart."
"My best coat was taken possession of by pussy and kittens, so I whipped on"--(Hardware-man) "a dripping pan."
"The monkey, seeing how funny I looked, snatched off my wig, and clapped on my head"--(Poulterer) "a fat hen."
"I now awoke my wife, and asked her what she had nice for breakfast; she said"--(Doctor) "a mustard plaster."
"Then I scolded Sukey, the servant, and called her"--(Poulterer) "a tough old turkey."
"But she saucily told me I was no better than"--(Music-seller) "an old fiddle."
"I soon had enough of that, so I asked my wife to go with me to buy"--(Tailor) "a pair of trousers."
"But she said she must have her lunch first, which consisted of----" etc., etc., through half a dozen pages, the tradesmen supply more or less appropriate articles to fill up the gaps in the discourse.

CHAPTER V
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RAISIN TORTOISE--LEMON PIG--SEASICK PASSENGER--ENCHANTED RAISINS--LUMP OF SUGAR--MYSTERIOUS PRODUCTION--FAMILY GIANT
THE RAISIN TORTOISE
This noble animal is constructed as follows: A muscatel raisin forms the body, and small portions of the stalk of the same fruit the head and legs. With a little judgment in the selection of the pieces of stalk and the mode in