Elizabeth: The Disinherited Daugheter | Page 6

and commune with that humble few in class
meeting. This fellowship, with a diligent attention to closet devotions
and Scripture study, and conducting family worship, kept up a subdued
but living piety.
But at length her clandestine attendance of class meetings was
discovered, and father and parson were highly indignant, for they saw
their cherished hopes blasted, and, in their mortification, severer
discipline was decided upon. "She must be closely watched and
confined at home; her favorite horse taken from her; her conducting of
family worship suspended; her familiarity with her sisters" (who
somewhat sympathized with her) "much abridged." The kitchen maid

was dismissed, and the tall, delicate Elizabeth was driven to the
drudgery of kitchen and washroom, and ordered to "be quiet and
diligent as a servant," under charge of having proved herself "unworthy
of a daughter's place in the family!" To this servile toil Elizabeth
submitted without a murmur, and patiently plodded on, her strong
constitution and heroic courage and steady faith bearing her up. But the
accusation of "ingratitude and disobedience" was so false and severe as
to be very depressing to her spirits. And, never having been inured to
hard labor or parental censure, these double tribulations were almost
crushing; and to help her courage she kept up the low, almost inaudible
hum of the sweet tunes she had so loved to sing among her chosen
people, and, thus abstracted, toiled on week after week.
Such patience proved provoking, especially as what could be detected
of the tunes, in the snatches heard, indicated to her father's enraged
feelings a stubborn attachment to that people from whom he was trying
to wean her; so even this little comfort was sternly denied her; and,
while strength was gradually giving way under her heavy burdens, she
was compelled to toil on in silence. Under all these sore trials not only
her angry father but the evil one kept up the accusation of "stubborn
disobedience."
At length she broke down under her burdens and troubles. Health,
courage, and joy in the Lord gave way together. For the drill of Parson
Huntington in Calvinian theology for nearly a year past now came up,
enforced by the instructions of childhood, with fresh power; and she
began to suspect that she was one of the "ordained reprobates," "passed
by and doomed from eternity to endless ruin!" The whole system of
"free grace," impartial atonement, and the Spirit's assurance, in the light
and joy of which she had exulted for months in Pittsfield, and been so
comforted in these subsequent months of hardship and false accusation,
strangely faded before these childhood and recent instructions; and
gradually this pupil of Augustine and Calvin sank into the doctrinal
abyss of the "horrible decrees." Nor would her broken and depressed
spirits allow these sudden conclusions to affect her as abstract dogmas.
They struck her, by Satanic power, like lightning, as terribly personal
realities. "I, even I, Elizabeth Ward, have been awfully deceived! I am

one of the reprobates! I have preferred my father's commands to God's
favor! I have committed the 'unpardonable sin!'"
How unaccountable is desponding unbelief! how ingenious and active
under diabolical management! The Holy Spirit quoted to this poor,
despondent girl "the precious promises," but she "refused to be
comforted," and hastened to pass them all over to "the elect." He called
to mind her rich experiences. They seemed to her far off in clouds of
dim dreamland, and she called them a reprobate's delusions, "sent" on
purpose to make her "believe a lie that she might be damned." He
called her attention to the blessed word, to prayer and praise. She
promptly swept all such observances away from reprobates to the
ransomed "few," and, gnashing her teeth in anguish, sank to _utter
despair!_
We will not attempt to describe a conscious reprobate, "passed by" and
"ordained from eternity" to all eternity a lost soul! Such was the dark,
dank night that settled down upon Elizabeth as she sank under her
burdens, her temptations, and cruel, wicked unbelief. In this dismal,
hopeless "hell upon earth" she pined away for weeks and months,
utterly shrinking from Bible reading, prayer, song, or religious
conversation, and studiously guarding against religious reasoning, and
even thought, as abominable for a "reprobate."
It is not easy, in this age of religious liberty, to understand or apologize
for such intolerance as Mr. Ward and Parson Huntington exhibited
toward this innocent Methodist girl. But it should be remembered in
charity:
1. That that age was about a century nearer the long period of
persecution than this.
2. That a stern and terrible system of religious doctrines prevailed
throughout New England at that day, not fruitful in charity, nor
respectful toward any faith that differed from it.
3. That Methodism was new there then, and