Elbow-Room

by Charles Heber Clark (AKA
Max Adeler)

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Title: Elbow-Room A Novel Without a Plot
Author: Charles Heber Clark (AKA Max Adeler)
Release Date: June 11, 2004 [EBook #12581]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
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ELBOW-ROOM ***

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ELBOW-ROOM
A NOVEL WITHOUT A PLOT BY
MAX ADELER

1870
AUTHOR OF "OUT OF THE HURLY-BURLY," ETC., ETC.
ILLUSTRATED BY ARTHUR B. FROST
[Illustration: Frontispiece]

PREFACE
If every book that contains nothing but nonsense confessed that fact in
its preface, the world would have been saved a vast amount of dreary
reading. Most of such volumes, however, are believed by their authors
to be full of wisdom of the solidest kind; and confession, therefore,
being impossible, the reader may learn the truth only through much
tribulation. The writer of this book freely admits, at the outset, that it
contains only the lightest humor, and that its single purpose is to afford
amusement. At the same time, he claims for it that it is wiser and far
more useful than many more solemn books that have been published,
with the intent to regenerate mankind, by authors who would regard
such a volume as this with feelings of scorn.
This is simply an effort to tell stories of a humorous character; and
although the attempt may not be so successful as it has been in the
hands of others, from Boccaccio downward, it has at least one quality
that some greater achievements do not possess: it is absolutely pure in
thought, word and suggestion. If it is filled with nonsense, that
nonsense at any rate is innocent. It is modest, cleanly and without
malice or irreverence. A worthier and nobler work might have been
written; a purer work could not have been.
What its other merits are he who reads it will discern. To apologize for
it in any manner would be to admit that it has grave deficiencies, and
such an admission the author would not make even if his conscience
impelled him to do so. The book is offered to the reader with the
conviction that if the man who laughs is the happiest man, it may
contribute something to the sum of human felicity.

The story of the French horn, related in the twentieth chapter, will
recall to the reader of the "Sparrowgrass Papers" an incident related in
that most charming book of humor. Perhaps it ought to be said that the
former narrative was at least suggested by the latter.
The artist who has illustrated the book, Mr. Arthur B. Frost, deserves to
have it said of him that he has done his work skilfully, tastefully and
with nice appreciation of the humor of the various situations.

CONTENTS
CHAPTER
I.
THE ADVANTAGES OF ELBOW-ROOM
II. THE TERRIBLE MISHAP TO MR. FOGG'S BABY
III. INTERNAL NAVIGATION.--AN UNFORTUNATE INVENTOR
IV. THE FACTS IN REFERENCE TO MR. BUTTERWICK'S
HORSE
V. SOME EDUCATIONAL FACTS
VI. THE EDITOR OF "THE PATRIOT"
VII. HOW MR. BUTTERWICK PURSUED HORTICULTURE
VIII. THE MEETING, AND ITS MISSIONARY WORK
IX. JUDGE TWIDDLER'S COW
X. OUR CIVIL SERVICE
XI. FUNEREAL AND CONJUGAL

XII. A NEW MRS. TOODLES.--POTTS' ADVENTURES
XIII. THE RACES, AND SOME OTHER THINGS
XIV. RESPECTING CERTAIN SAVAGES
XV. LOVE, SUFFERING AND SUICIDE
XVI. MR. FOGG AS SPORTSMAN AND SPOUSE
XVII. HOW WE CONDUCT A POLITICAL CAMPAIGN
XVIII. THE MATUTINAL ROOSTER
XIX. AN UNRULY METER.--SCENES IN A SANCTUM
XX. HIGH ART
XXI. CERTAIN DENTAL EXPERIENCES.--AN UNFORTUNATE
OFFICIAL
XXII. JUSTICE, AND A LITTLE INJUSTICE
XXIII. THE TRAMP WITH GENIUS AND WITHOUT IT
XXIV. THE DOG OF MR. BUTTERWICK'S, AND OTHER DOGS
XXV. A PERSECUTED JOURNALIST
XXVI. THE ACHIEVEMENTS OF DR. PERKINS
XXVII. GENERAL TRUMPS OF THE MILITIA
XXVIII. THE MISDIRECTED ENERGIES OF MR. BRADLEY
XXIX. THE TRIALS OF MR. KEYSER, GRANGER
XXX. MR. BANGER'S AUNT
XXXI. VARIOUS THINGS

ILLUSTRATIONS.
ELBOW-ROOM MR. FOGG AS A MESMERIST A NOVEL
MOUSETRAP A PERPLEXED MULE THE SECRETARY IS
ALARMED MR. BUTTERWICK'S HORSE LIES DOWN THE
BATTLE OF CANNÆ. MR. BARNES PROPOSES THE CARBOLIC
DOOR-MAT THE GARDENER RETREATS TREADING WATER
THE HEATHEN CLOTHE THEMSELVES THE JUDGE'S COW A
TOMBSTONE CONTRACT MR. POTTS' MOUSE SHOOTING A
BURGLAR A FLAT-IRON WEDDING AN EXCITED OLD LADY
THE CAT SUCCUMBS HOW THE PIG WAS KILLED MR.
SPOONER IS ALARMED THE LITTLE BABY-BEAR THE
GOLDFISH TRICK. A CURTAILMENT AN INDIGNANT
GUNNER CONFESSING THEIR FAULTS FORCED TO DO DUTY
THE EARLY COCK THE AFFAIR AT THE POULTRY-SHOW THE
SHERIFF IS MAD MR. SMITH'S GRIEF A SCARED FAMILY DR.
SLUGG'S INVENTION