Echoes of the War | Page 9

you're on your probation. I'm a cautious character, and we
must see how you'll turn out.'
'Yes, Kenneth.'
'And now. I think, for that bath. My theatre begins at six-thirty. A cove
I met on a 'bus is going with me.'
She is a little alarmed.
'You're sure you'll come back?'
'Yes, yes,' handsomely, 'I leave my kit in pledge.'
'You won't liquor up too freely, Kenneth?'
'You're the first,' chuckling, 'to care whether I do or not.' Nothing she
has said has pleased the lonely man so much as this. 'I promise. Tod,
I'm beginning to look forward to being wakened in the morning by
hearing you cry, "Get up, you lazy swine." I've kind of envied men that
had womenfolk with the right to say that.'
He is passing to the bathroom when a diverting notion strikes him.
'What is it, Kenneth?'
'The theatre. It would be showier if I took a lady.'
Mrs. Dowey feels a thumping at her breast.
'Kenneth, tell me this instant what you mean. Don't keep me on the
jumps.'
He turns her round.
'No, It couldn't be done.'
'Was it me you were thinking of?'
'Just for the moment,' regretfully, 'but you have no style.'
She catches hold of him by the sleeve.
'Not in this, of course. But, oh, Kenneth, if you saw me in my merino!
It's laced up the back in the very latest.'

'Hum,' doubtfully; 'but let's see it.'
It is produced from a drawer, to which the old lady runs with almost
indecent haste. The connoisseur examines it critically.
'Looks none so bad. Have you a bit of chiffon for the neck? It's not
bombs nor Kaisers nor Tipperary that men in the trenches think of, it's
chiffon.'
'I swear I have, Kenneth, And I have a bangle, and a muff, and gloves.'
'Ay, ay.' He considers. 'Do you think you could give your face less of a
homely look?'
'I'm sure I could.'
'Then you can have a try. But, mind you, I promise nothing. All will
depend on the effect.'
He goes into the pantry, and the old lady is left alone. Not alone, for
she is ringed round by entrancing hopes and dreadful fears. They beam
on her and jeer at her, they pull her this way and that; with difficulty
she breaks through them and rushes to her pail, hot water, soap, and a
looking-glass. Our last glimpse of her for this evening shows her
staring (not discontentedly) at her soft old face, licking her palm, and
pressing it to her hair. Her eyes are sparkling.
* * * * *
One evening a few days later Mrs. Twymley and Mrs. Mickleham are
in Mrs. Dowey's house, awaiting that lady's return from some
fashionable dissipation. They have undoubtedly been discussing the
war, for the first words we catch are:
MRS. MICKLEHAM. 'I tell you flat, Amelia, I bows no knee to
junkerdom.'
MRS. TWYMLEY. 'Sitting here by the fire, you and me, as one to
another, what do you think will happen after the war? Are we to go
back to being as we were?'
MRS. MICKLEHAM. 'Speaking for myself, Amelia, not me. The war
has wakened me up to a understanding of my own importance that is
really astonishing.'
MRS. TWYMLEY. 'Same here. Instead of being the poor worms the
like of you and me thought we was, we turns out to be visible
departments of a great and haughty empire.'
They are well under weigh, and with a little luck we might now hear
their views on various passing problems of the day, such as the neglect

of science in our public schools. But in comes the Haggerty Woman,
and spoils everything. She is attired, like them, in her best, but the
effect of her is that her clothes have gone out for a walk, leaving her at
home.
MRS. MICKLEHAM, with deep distaste, 'Here's that submarine again.'
The Haggerty Woman cringes to them, but gets no encouragement.
THE HAGGERTY WOMAN. 'It's a terrible war.'
MRS. TWYMLEY. 'Is that so?'
THE HAGGERTY WOMAN. 'I wonder what will happen when it
ends?'
MRS. MICKLEHAM. 'I have no idea.'
The intruder produces her handkerchief, but does not use it. After all,
she is in her best.
THE HAGGERTY WOMAN. 'Are they not back yet?'
Perfect ladies must reply to a direct question.
MRS. MICKLEHAM. 'No,' icily. 'We have been waiting this half hour.
They are at the theatre again.'
THE HAGGERTY WOMAN. 'You tell me! I just popped in with an
insignificant present for him, as his leave is up.'
MRS. TWYMLEY. 'The same errand brought us.'
THE HAGGERTY WOMAN. 'My present is cigarettes.'
They have no intention of telling her what their presents are, but the
secret leaps from them.
MRS. MICKLEHAM. 'So is