Eastern Standard Tribe | Page 8

one likes an insurance company. Come on, Art.
Art. You don't have to say anything now, but think about it, OK, Art?"
She released his hand, and he stood. The porter with the teeth flashed them at him.
"Mad," he said, "just mad. Watch yourself, mate. Get your solicitor on the line, I were
you."
He stepped back as far as the narrow sidewalk would allow and fired up his comm and
tunneled to a pseudonymous relay, bouncing the call off a dozen mixmasters. He was,
after all, in deep cover as a GMTalist, and it wouldn't do to have his enciphered packets'
destination in the clear -- a little traffic analysis and his cover'd be blown. He velcroed the
keyboard to his thigh and started chording.
Trepan: Any UK solicitors on the channel?
Gink-Go: Lawyers. Heh. Kill 'em all. Specially eurofag fixers.
Junta: Hey, I resemble that remark
Trepan: Junta, you're a UK lawyer?
Gink-Go: Use autocounsel, dude. L{ia|awye}rs suck. Channel #autocounsel. Chatterbot
with all major legal systems on the backend.
Trepan: Whatever. I need a human lawyer.
Trepan: Junta, you there?
Gink-Go: Off raping humanity.
Gink-Go: Fuck lawyers.
Trepan: /shitlist Gink-Go
##Gink-Go added to Trepan's shitlist. Use '/unshit Gink-Go' to see messages again
Gink-Go:
Gink-Go:

Gink-Go:
Gink-Go:
##Gink-Go added to Junta's shitlist. Use '/unshit Gink-Go' to see messages again
##Gink-Go added to Thomas-hawk's shitlist. Use '/unshit Gink-Go' to see messages again
##Gink-Go added to opencolon's shitlist. Use '/unshit Gink-Go' to see messages again
##Gink-Go added to jackyardbackoff's shitlist. Use '/unshit Gink-Go' to see messages
again
##Gink-Go added to freddy-kugel's shitlist. Use '/unshit Gink-Go' to see messages again
opencolon: Trolls suck. Gink-Go away.
Gink-Go:
Gink-Go:
Gink-Go:
##Gink-Go has left channel #EST.chatter
Junta: You were saying?
##Junta (private) (file transfer)
##Received credential from Junta. Verifying. Credential identified: "Solicitor, registered
with the Law Society to practice in England and Wales, also registered in Australia."
Trepan: /private Junta I just hit a woman while driving the Kensington High Street. Her
fault. She's hurt. Wants me to admit culpability in exchange for half the insurance.
Advice?
##Junta (private): I beg your pardon?
Trepan: /private Junta She's crazy. She just got off the phone with some kinda lawyer in
the States. Says she can get $5*10^5 at least, and will split with me if I don't dispute.
##Junta (private): Bloody Americans. No offense. What kind of instrumentation recorded
it?
Trepan: /private Junta My GPS. Maybe some secams. Eyewitnesses, maybe.
##Junta (private): And you'll say what, exactly? That you were distracted? Fiddling with
something?

Trepan: /private Junta I guess.
##Junta (private): You're looking at three points off your licence. Statutory increase in
premiums totalling EU 2*10^5 over five years. How's your record?
##Transferring credential "Driving record" to Junta. Receipt confirmed.
##Junta (private): Hmmm.
##Junta (private): Nothing outrageous. Were you distracted?
Trepan: /private Junta I guess. Maybe.
##Junta (private): You guess. Well, who would know better than you, right? My fee's 10
percent. Stop guessing. You were distracted. Overtired. It's late. Regrettable. Sincerely
sorry. Have her solicitor contact me directly. I'll meet you here at 1000h GMT/0400h
EDT and go over it with you, yes? Agreeable?
Trepan: /private Junta Agreed. Thanks.
##Junta (private) (file transfer)
##Received smartcontract from Junta. Verifying. Smartcontract "Representation
agreement" verified.
Trepan: /join #autocounsel
counselbot: Welcome, Trepan! How can I help you?
##Transferring smartcontract "Representation agreement" to counselbot. Receipt
confirmed.
Trepan: /private counselbot What is the legal standing of this contract?
##counselbot (private): Smartcontract "Representation agreement" is an ISO standard
representation agreement between a client and a solicitor for purposes of litigation in the
UK.
##autocounsel (private) (file transfer)
##Received "representation agreement faq uk 2.3.2 2JAN22" from autocounsel.
Trepan: /join #EST.chatter
Trepan: /private Junta It's a deal
##Transferring key-signed smartcontract "Representation agreement" to Junta. Receipt
confirmed.

Trepan: /quit Gotta go, thanks!
##Trepan has left channel #EST.chatter "Gotta go, thanks!"
5.
Once the messy business of negotiating EU healthcare for foreign nationals had been
sorted out with the EMTs and the Casualty Intake triage, once they'd both been digested
and shat out by a dozen diagnostic devices from X-rays to MRIs, once the harried house
officers had impersonally prodded them and presented them both with hardcopy FAQs
for their various injuries (second-degree burns, mild shock for Art; pelvic dislocation,
minor kidney bruising, broken femur, whiplash, concussion and mandible trauma for
Linda), they found themselves in adjacent beds in the recovery room, which bustled as
though it, too, were working on GMT-5, busy as a 9PM restaurant on a Saturday night.
Art had an IV taped to the inside of his left arm, dripping saline and tranqs, making him
logy and challenging his circadians. Still, he was the more mobile of the two, as Linda
was swaddled in smartcasts that both immobilized her and massaged her, all the while
osmosing transdermal