Each Man Kills | Page 6

my eyes. I
reached up to brush it away. It was not a mist; it was a cloth. I
shivered.
"I must wake up," I whispered hoarsely, "I must! I'm going mad!"
There was a creaking sound and daylight descended upon me. When I
saw where I was, I covered my face with my hands and sobbed. I tried
to pray, but the words froze on my lips. I was sitting in a coffin in a
mausoleum! I had been buried alive!
"What am I?" I shrieked. "Where am I and what have You done? I'm
out of my mind; stark, staring mad!"
Eve's lips parted, showing the even white teeth--those slightly pointed
teeth.

"You're quite sane, my dear," She said calmly. "You are now one of us;
a revenant, even as I, and to live you must feed on the living."
"It's not true!" I shouted. "This is all a crazy nightmare, part of my
illness! You're not real! Nothing is real!"
"I'm quite real, Tod. To be trite, I am what I am, and have accepted it
calmly, as you shall in time. I have told you of my life. You have been a
student of legends. Legends are often--more often than you
think--reality. When one has been murdered, if one has lived a
so-called wicked life, he is doomed to walk the earth battening on the
living. My fate was sealed as I lay in my coffin. But that wasn't enough.
As I lay there, my pet cat, Suma, slunk into the room and leapt over me.
That was a double insurance of my life after death. Those whom I mark
for my own must, too, live on. Accept it, my dear. You have no other
choice."
"No!" I cried. "I'm an American! Things like this don't happen to us!
It's only in stories, and then to foreigners!"
She chuckled drily. "I'm afraid these things do happen, and in this case,
you're it, my dear. Make the best of it."
But I wouldn't; I refused to--for a while. I would not feast on the blood
of the living. Something within me fought. For a time.
Then, the awful hunger began. The tearing pangs of hunger that
ordinary food wouldn't arrest. I fought it as long as I could. I lost.
First it was small animals; animals that I loved. It was my life or theirs.
Then there was a little girl; a dear little creature who might have been
my child under different circumstances.
After the episode of the little girl, Eve left me. She had no further use
for me; she had wanted the child, too, and I had got it. I was now
competition to be shunned. I was alone once again alone and
thoroughly miserable. I couldn't understand myself, my motives, so how
could I expect someone else to understand?

I only knew what I was; nor could I rationalize on why I had become
this way. I could only presume it had happened to others equally as
innocent as myself of wrong-doing. In the daytime, when I was like
others, I reproached myself; goodness knows I loathed myself and what
I had to do in order to "live." I wished I might really die, for I was
tired--so frightfully tired and sick of it all. But I knew of no way to
accomplish this, so I had to bear it all, fasting until my voracious,
disgusting appetites got the better of me.
I decided there must be some information on my kind, particularly in
this area where vampire legends are rife, so I took to haunting reading
rooms. It was there I met Maria. She told me, after we knew each other
better, that she was doing graduate work in regional superstitions and
had decided that her thesis would treat of the history of vampirism. She
found it terribly amusing, but at the same time frightening: Didn't I? I
fear I saw nothing laughable about it, but I held my peace. Why, I
could have done a thesis for her that would have driven some
mild-mannered prof completely out of his mind! I kept my knowledge to
myself, though; I didn't want to scare Maria.
She was like a flash of sunshine in a darkened room. She made each
day worth living. For the first time the hunger pangs ceased. Ceased
for one week, then two. I was certain I was cured. Perhaps, I thought,
the whole thing was just a dream and I am finally awake.
I felt then I had the right to tell her of my love. She looked infinitely sad.
She wasn't certain, she said. She knew she was awfully fond of me, but
she was confused. She had just come away from the States, trying to
make up her mind