Dwell Deep | Page 8

and guidance. My thoughts were perplexed ones.
How I longed to live at peace with every one! How easy it would be to
slip along in this pleasant family life, doing as others did around me;
how increasingly difficult I should find it, if I was continually setting
myself up in opposition to all their plans and wishes for me! And yet in
my heart I knew that unless I took a stand from the first, I should be
drawn into a whirl of gaiety, such as I felt would not be the right
position for a true Christian to be found in. Then I wondered what
claims my guardian had upon me, how far it would be right to obey
him, and where I must draw the line. 'If only I had some one to advise
me!' I murmured, and the next minute felt ashamed of the thought as
these words met my eye,--
'But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will
send in My name, He shall teach you all things.'

I bowed my head in prayer, and when a little later I turned again to my
Bible I was not long left in doubt. 'Be not conformed to this world,' I
read in Romans. I turned up the references: 'Not fashioning yourselves
according to the former lusts in your ignorance.' 'Love not the world,
neither the things that are in the world.' 'Wherefore come out from
among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord.' As I sat there drinking
in these messages, and dwelling upon them each in turn, all doubt and
hesitation left me. I was quieted and refreshed, and when the thought of
my guardian's possible anger flitted across my mind, I was able to put it
aside--'He shall teach you all things.'
And that took me to another verse, 'Take ye no thought how or what
thing ye shall answer, or what ye shall say; for the Holy Ghost shall
teach you in the same hour what ye ought to say.'
With this I was quite content.
CHAPTER III
THE REASON WHY
Let us, then, be what we are, and speak what we think, and in all things
Keep ourselves loyal to truth.'--Longfellow.
'General Forsyth, may I speak to you for a few minutes?'
It was after breakfast the next morning that I made this request. I was
determined to have the matter settled as soon as possible.
'Certainly,' my guardian said, looking at me in some surprise. 'Come
into the library, for we shall be undisturbed there.'
He led the way, politely handed me a chair, and then stood leaning his
back against the mantel-piece and stroking his moustache, giving me at
the same time a keen glance from under his shaggy eyebrows.
'Well,' he said, 'what is it? Do you want any money?'

'No,' I said a little nervously; 'it is quite another matter;' then gathering
courage, I looked him straight in the face and said, 'General Forsyth, I
think you expect me to go to those theatricals at the Walkers' next week.
I cannot do it.'
'Indeed!' he said lightly, 'is it a question of dress? What is the
difficulty?'
'No, it is not that. I want to tell you now, for I think it may save
difficulties afterwards. I do not wish to lead a gay life: I cannot go to
dances or theatres with an easy conscience. Don't think it a mere whim
or passing fancy; it is a matter of principle with me. I have given
myself to God for His service, and I look at everything in that light, and
from that standpoint.'
General Forsyth looked amused.
'Don't put so much tragedy in your tone, child! Since when have you
taken up these peculiar notions?'
'About two or three months ago,' I replied. 'It has made a great
difference in my life. I thought if I explained my reason to you, you
would not press me to go to things which are thoroughly distasteful to
me.'
'If it is only a couple of months since you formed these views, I think
you will find that time will alter them, Hilda. I should like to state to
you that, according to your father's will, I am to have full control of
your money until you marry, or if that does not occur soon, until you
are thirty years of age. After that you are your own mistress. Are you
aware of this?'
'I did not quite understand it so,' I said, wondering at the turn our
conversation was taking.
'I tell you this because it explains our position towards each other. So
much for the terms of the will. Now for what will touch you closer: I
was with your father when he died in