Doctor Who and the Scales of Injustice | Page 4

most insufferable. And he needed Liz as an assistant
about as much as he needed a bullet through the head.
Hmmm. Sometimes that analogy had a certain appeal...
'Are you in some sort of pain, Doctor?' asked the Brigadier, popping his head round the
door of the UNIT laboratory, an unaccustomed broad grin on his face.
The singing stopped abruptly. Liz wanted to point out, as brusquely as she dared, that her
employer had just said exactly the wrong thing. She did not get the chance. Instead, the
Doctor stopped what he was doing with a sigh. Liz was none too sure exactly what he
was doing, but it looked complicated and tedious, and she had decided ten minutes earlier
not to enquire - the Doctor could be very patronizing when he was irritable. And he was
frequently irritable.
'Did you say something, Brigadier, or were you just releasing some of that pent-up hot air
you keep in your breeches?'
The Brigadier crossed the lab, pointing with his favourite swagger-stick at the shell of the
TARDIS, which was standing in the corner. 'Can't upset me today, Doctor. I've got my
happy head on.'
The Doctor picked up his tools and turned back to the bench at which he was working.
'Oh, good.'
Liz decided some tact was called for. 'And why's that?'
The Brigadier turned to her and smiled. 'Because, Miss Shaw, today our C19 paymaster
Sir John Sudbury is due here to tell us exactly how much money we're getting in this
coming financial year.' He perched on the edge of a bench and leant forward
conspiratorially. 'If we're really lucky, I might get a new captain out of it. Quite
impressed with young Yates - fine officer material. Might even give you a pay rise.'
Liz laughed. 'Oh come on, I doubt the money gods are that kind.'

The Brigadier shrugged. 'Maybe not.' He nodded towards the Doctor, who was working
feverishly as he quickly moved his equipment round, a soldering iron in one hand.
'And what exactly is he up to?'
Liz shook her head. 'I don't know. I came in this morning and he was seated exactly
where I'd left him last night. I don't think he's slept a wink.'
The Doctor swivelled round, the hot soldering iron pointing at them like some kind of
alien weapon. 'My dear Liz, sleep, as a wise man once said, is for tortoises. And if you
must know, Lethbridge-Stewart, I'm actually obeying your orders for once.' He got up,
placed the soldering iron on its rest and let his jeweller's eye-glass drop into his hand. 'As
usual, the two of you have been so absorbed in chit-chat that you've failed to notice an
important omission from this lab.' He had crossed the room and was standing face to face
with the Brigadier. Taking the military officer's swagger-stick, he twirled it like a
magician's wand and tapped the side of his head. 'Worked it out yet?'
Liz stared around for a moment and gasped. 'That TARDIS console. It's gone!'
The Doctor smiled at her. 'Well done, Liz. Top of the class.' He shot a look back at the
Brigadier. 'At least someone round here can use their eyes.'
The Brigadier shrugged. 'So where is it?'
'Back in the TARDIS?' ventured Liz.
'Right again.'
'Pah,' snorted the Brigadier. 'How'd you get something that big through those tiny doors?'
He pointed at the TARDIS as the Doctor leant against it.
'Elementary, my dear Alistair, quite elementary, you asked me to try and get the TARDIS
working. Well, the console is back in there and I'm currently trying to restore functions to
the dematerialization circuit. Satisfied?' He walked back to the bench, took off his
smoking jacket and laid it over a stool. 'Now, I have work to do.' He gave the Brigadier a
last look. 'Goodbye, Brigadier.'
The Brigadier stood. 'Yes, well... I suppose I've got to make sure everything's ready for
Sir John and old Scobie.'
Liz smiled. She had a soft spot for Major-General Scobie. 'When's the general going to be
here?'
The Brigadier looked at his watch. 'Sergeant Benton's collecting him from his home
about now. Will you join us for lunch? Cold buffet, I'm afraid, but the best I can offer.'
Liz nodded. 'I'd be delighted.' She threw a look at the Doctor's back. 'That's if there's
nothing for me to do here?'

Without looking up the Doctor grunted something about idle hands, finger buffets and
military officers admiring pretty legs.
'I'll take that as a "no" then, shall I?' She turned back to the Brigadier. 'Twelve thirty?'
'On the nose, Miss Shaw, on the nose.' He gave a last look at the TARDIS. 'Through
those doors? Pah. One day I'm going in there to see exactly what he's spending