Digger Smith | Page 7

C. J. Dennis
takes two to make a row," sez little Digger Smith. "A bloke
can't argue 'less 'e 'as a bloke to argue with.
I've come 'ome from a
dinkum scrap to find this land uv light Is chasin' its own tail around an'
callin' it a fight.
"We've seen a thing or two, us blokes 'oo've fought on many fronts; An'
we've 'ad time to think a bit between the fightin' stunts. We've seen big
things, an' thought big things, an' all the
silly fuss,
That used to get us rattled once, seems very small to us.
"An' when a bloke's fought for a land an' gets laid on the shelf It pains
'im to come 'ome an' find it scrappin' with itself; An' scrappin' all for
nothin', or for things that look so
small--
To us, 'oo've been in bigger things, they don't seem reel at all.
"P'r'aps we 'ave 'ad some skite knocked out, an' p'r'aps we see
more clear,
But seems to us there's plenty cleanin'-up to do round 'ere.
We've learnt a little thing or two, an' we 'ave unlearnt 'eaps, An' silly
partisans, with us, is counted out for keeps.
"This takin' sides jist for the sake uv takin' sides--Aw, 'Struth! I used to

do them things one time, back in me foolish youth. Out There, when I
remembered things, I've kicked meself reel good. In football days I
barracked once red 'ot for Collin'wood.
"I didn't want to see a game, nor see no justice done.
It never
mattered wot occurred as long as my side won.
The other side was
narks an' cows an' rotters to a man;
But mine was all reel bonzer
chaps. I was a partisan.
"It might sound like swelled-'ead," sez Smith. "But show me, if yeh
can...." "'Old 'ard," sez Poole. "Jist tell me this: wot is a partisan?" Then
Digger Smith starts to ixplain; Poole interrupts straight out; An' I wades
in to give my views, an' 'as to nearly shout.
We battles on for one good hour. My team sleeps where it stands; An'
Poole 'as tossed the spade away to talk with both 'is 'ands; An' Smith 'as
dropped the maul 'e 'ad. Then I looks round to see Doreen quite close.
She smiles at us. "Winnin' the war?" sez she.
VII. A DIGGER'S TALE
A Digger's Tale
MY oath!' the Duchess sez. 'You'd not ixpect
Sich things as that. Yeh
don't mean kangaroos?
Go hon!' she sez, or words to that effect--

(It's 'ard to imitate the speech they use)
I tells 'er, 'Straight; I drives
'em four-in-'and
'Ome in my land.'
"You 'ear a lot," sez little Digger Smith,
"About 'ow English swells is
so stand-off.
Don't yeh believe it; it's a silly myth.
I've been reel
cobbers with the British toff
While I'm on leaf; for Blighty liked our
crowd,
An' done us proud.

"Us Aussies was the goods in London town
When I was there. If they
jist twigged yer 'at
The Dooks would ask yeh could yeh keep one
down,
An' Earls would 'ang out 'Welcome' on the mat,
An' sling yeh
invites to their stately 'alls
For fancy balls.
"This Duchess--I ain't quite sure uv 'er rank;
She might uv been a
Peeress. I dunno.
I meets 'er 'usband first. 'E owns a bank,
I 'eard,
an' 'arf a dozen mints or so.
A dinkum toff. 'E sez, 'Come 'ome with
me
An' 'ave some tea.'
"That's 'ow I met this Duchess Wot's-'er-name--
Or Countess--never
mind 'er moniker;
I ain't no 'and at this 'ere title game--
An' right
away, I was reel pals with 'er.
'Now, tell me all about yer 'ome,' sez
she,
An' smiles at me.
"That knocks me out. I know it ain't no good
Paintin' word-picters uv
the things I done
Out 'ome 'ere, barrackin' for Collin'wood,
Or
puntin' on the flat at Flemin'ton.
I know this Baroness uv
Wot-yeh-call
Wants somethin' tall.
"I thinks reel 'ard; an' then I lets it go.
I tells 'er, out at Richmond, on
me Run--
A little place uv ten square mile or so--
I'm breedin'
boomerangs; which is reel fun,
When I ain't troubled by the wild
Jonops
That eats me crops.
"I talks about the wondrous Boshter Bird
That builds 'er nest up in the

Cobber Tree,
An' 'atches out 'er young on May the third,
Stric' to
the minute, jist at 'arf pas' three.
'Er eyes get big. She sez, 'Can it be
true?'
'Er eyes was blue.
"An' then I speaks uv sport, an' tells 'er 'ow
In 'untin' our wild
Wowsers we imploy
Large packs uv Barrackers, an' 'ow their row

Wakes echoes in the forests uv Fitzroy,
Where lurks the deadly
Shicker Snake 'oo's breath
Is certain death.
"I'm goin' on to talk uv kangaroos,
An' 'ow I used to drive 'em
four-in-'and.
'Wot?' sez the Marchioness. 'Them things in Zoos
That
'ops about? I've seen 'em in the Strand
In double 'arness; but I ain't
seen four.
Tell me some more.'
"I baulks a bit at that; an' she sez, 'Well,
There
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