Diary, February 1667/68 | Page 5

to compound the matter. But the truth is,
something they will make out of Stillingfleete's sermon, which may
trouble us, he declaring, like a fool, in his pulpit, that he did confess
that his losses in the world did make him do what he did. This do vex
me to see how foolish our Protestant Divines are, while the Papists do
make it the duty of Confessor to be secret, or else nobody would
confess their sins to them. All being put off for to-day, I took my leave
of Kate, who is mightily troubled at it for her estate sake, not for her
husband; for her sorrow for that, I perceive, is all over. I home, and,
there to my office busy till the evening, and then home, and there my
wife and Deb. and I and Betty Turner, I employed in the putting new
titles to my books, which we proceeded on till midnight, and then being
weary and late to bed.

5th. Up, and I to Captain Cocke's, where he and I did discourse of our
business that we are to go about to the Commissioners of Accounts

about our prizes, and having resolved to conceal nothing but to confess
the truth, the truth being likely to do us most good, we parted, and I to
White Hall, where missing of the Commissioners of the Treasury, I to
the Commissioners of Accounts, where I was forced to stay two hours
before I was called in, and when come in did take an oath to declare the
truth to what they should ask me, which is a great power; I doubt more
than the Act do, or as some say can, give them, to force a man to swear
against himself; and so they fell to enquire about the business of
prize-goods, wherein I did answer them as well as I could, answer them
in everything the just truth, keeping myself to that. I do perceive at last,
that, that they did lay most like a fault to me was, that I did buy goods
upon my Lord Sandwich's declaring that it was with the King's
allowance, and my believing it, without seeing the King's allowance,
which is a thing I will own, and doubt not to justify myself in. That that
vexed me most was, their having some watermen by, to witness my
saying that they were rogues that they had betrayed my goods, which
was upon some discontent with one of the watermen that I employed at
Greenwich, who I did think did discover the goods sent from Rochester
to the Custom-House officer; but this can do me no great harm. They
were inquisitive into the minutest particulars, and the evening great
information; but I think that they can do me no hurt, at the worst, more
than to make me refund, if it must be known, what profit I did make of
my agreement with Captain Cocke; and yet, though this be all, I do find
so poor a spirit within me, that it makes me almost out of my wits, and
puts me to so much pain, that I cannot think of anything, nor do
anything but vex and fret, and imagine myself undone, so that I am
ashamed of myself to myself, and do fear what would become of me if
any real affliction should come upon me. After they had done with me,
they called in Captain Cocke, with whom they were shorter; and I do
fear he may answer foolishly, for he did speak to me foolishly before
he went in; but I hope to preserve myself, and let him shift for himself
as well as he can. So I away, walked to my flageolet maker in the
Strand, and there staid for Captain Cocke, who took me up and carried
me home, and there coming home and finding dinner done, and Mr.
Cooke, who come for my Lady Sandwich's plate, which I must part
with, and so endanger the losing of my money, which I lent upon my
thoughts of securing myself by that plate. But it is no great sum--but

L60: and if it must be lost, better that, than a greater sum. I away back
again, to find a dinner anywhere else, and so I, first, to the Ship Tavern,
thereby to get a sight of the pretty mistress of the house, with whom I
am not yet acquainted at all, and I do always find her scolding, and do
believe she is an ill-natured devil, that I have no great desire to speak to
her. Here I drank, and away by coach to the Strand, there to find out Mr.
Moore, and did find him at the Bell Inn, and there acquainted him with
what passed between me