De Turkey and De Law | Page 3

shells can be heard very plainly.)
HAMBO Walter, God a' mighty! You better quit eatin' em ground peas de way you do. You gointer die wid de colic.
LINDSAY Aw, taint gointer hurt him. I don't b'lieve uh cord uh wood would lay heavy on Walter's belly. He kin eat mo' penders than Brazzle's mule.
WALTER (laughing) Aw naw, don't throw me in wid dat mule. He could eat up camp-meetin, back off scociation and drink Jurdan dry.
LINDSAY And still stay so po' till he wuzn't nothin atall but a mule frame. (Enter Lige Moseley right) Taint never been no mule in de world lak dat ole yaller mule since Jonah went to joppy.
(Lige seats himself on the floor on the other side of the steps. Pulls out a bone toothpick and begins to pick his teeth)
LIGE Y'all still talkin bout Brazzle's ole useter-be mule?
HAMBO Yeah. Memeber dat time Brazzle hitched him to de plow and took him to Eshleman's new ground?
LIGE And he laid down before he'd plow a lick. Sho I do! But who ever seen him work? All you ever did see was him and Brazzle fightin up and down de furrows. (all laugh) He was so mean he would even try to kick you if you went in his stall to carry him some corn.
WALTER Nothin but pure concentrated meanness stuffed into uh mule hide. Thass de reason he wouldn't git fat--just too mean.
LIGE Sho was skinny now. You could use his ribs for a washboard and hang de clothes up on his hips to dry. (all laugh)
HAMBO Lige, you kin lie [Note: "like" crossed out] lak cross ties [Note inserted text: from Jacksonville to Key West.]. But layin all sides to jokes, when they told me dat mule was dead, uh just took and knocked off from work to see him drug out lak all de rest of de folks, and folkses dat mule wuz too contrary to lay down on his side and die. He laid on his raw-boney back wid his foots stickin straight up in de air lak he wuz fightin something.
LINDSAY He wuz--bet he fought ole death lak a natural man. Ah seen his bones yistiddy, out dere on de edge of de cypress swamp. De buzzards done picked em clean and de elements done bleached em.
LIGE Everybody went to dat draggin out. Even Joe Clarke shet up his store dat mornin and went (turns his head and calls into the store) didn't you, Mr. Clarke?
CLARKE'S VOICE Didn't I whut? (enters and stands in door)
LIGE Shet up yo' store and go to de draggin out of Brazzle's ole mule.
CLARKE I, God, Yeah. It was worth it. (sees Hambo) I didn't know you was out here. Lemme beat you uh game of checkers.
HAMBO Lissen at de ole tush hawg! Well, go git de board, and lemme beat you a pair of games befo' de mail gits in.
CLARKE (to the others) Beat old me! (to Hambo) Come on here, youse my fish. (calls into store) Mattie bring me dat checker-board and de checkers! (to men on porch) You got to talk to wimmen-folks lak dat--tell 'em every lil' thing-do she'd come rackin out here wid de board by itself.
(Enter Mrs. Clarke with homemade checker-board and coffee can containing the much-used checkers. Clarke sits on a keg and faces Hambo. They put the board on their knees and pour out the checkers)
HAMBO You want black or red?
CLARKE Oh, I don't keer which--I'm gointer beat you anyhow. You take de black. (they arrange them. The others get near to look on. Hambo sits looking at the board without moving.)
HAMBO Who's first move?
CLARKE Black folks always go to work first. Move! (Hambo moves and the same proceeds with the spectators very interested. Enter Lum Boger [Note: Handwritten correction: Bailey] right and joins the spectators. A woman enters left with a market basket and goes on in the store. The checkers click on the board. A girl about twelve enters right and goes into the store and comes out with a stick of peppermint candy.
WALTER Naw you don't Hambo!--Don't you go in dere! Dats a trap--(pointing) come right here and you got him.
LIGE Back dat man up (pointing) Hambo do he'll git et up.
(there is the noise of the checkers for a half minute then a general shout of triumph)
SPECTATORS You got him now, Hambo! Clarke, he's sho got you.
CLARKE (Chagrined) Aw, he aint done nothin! Jes' watch ME.
HAMBO (Jeering) Yeah, gwan move! Ha! Ha! go head and move.
SPECTATORS Aw, he got you, Bro. Mayor--might as well give up. He got you in de Louisville loop.
CLARKE Give up what? He can't beat me? (peeved) de rest of y'all git from over me, whoopin and hollerin! I God, a man can't hear his ears.
(The men fall back revealing the players clearly)
HAMBO