Days with Sir Roger de Coverley | Page 8

to her counsel, then would be in such a pretty confusion, occasioned,

you must know, by acting before so much company, that not only I but
the whole court was prejudiced in her favour; and all that the next heir
to her husband had to urge, was thought so groundless and frivolous,
that when it came to her counsel to reply, there was not half so much
said as every one besides in the court thought he could have urged to
her advantage. You must understand, Sir, this perverse woman is one of
those unaccountable creatures, that secretly rejoice in the admiration of
men, but indulge themselves in no further consequences. Hence it is
that she has ever had a train of admirers, and she removes from her
slaves in town to those in the country, according to the seasons of the
year. She is a reading lady, and far gone in the pleasures of friendship.
She is always accompanied by a confident, who is witness to her daily
protestations against our sex, and consequently a bar to her first steps
towards love, upon the strength of her own maxims and declarations.
"However, I must needs say this accomplished mistress of mine has
distinguished me above the rest, and has been known to declare Sir
Roger de Coverley was the tamest and most humane of all the brutes in
the country. I was told she said so, by one who thought he rallied me;
but upon the strength of this slender encouragement of being thought
least detestable, I made new liveries, new-pair'd my coach horses, sent
them all to town to be bitted and taught to throw their legs well, and
move all together, before I pretended to cross the country, and wait
upon her. As soon as I thought my retinue suitable to the character of
my fortune and youth, I set out from hence to make my addresses. The
particular skill of this lady has ever been to inflame your wishes, and
yet command respect. To make her mistress of this art, she has a greater
share of knowledge, wit, and good sense, than is usual even among
men of merit. Then she is beautiful beyond the race of women. If you
won't let her go on with a certain artifice with her eyes, and the skill of
beauty, she will arm herself with her real charms, and strike you with
admiration instead of desire. It is certain that if you were to behold the
whole woman, there is that dignity in her aspect, that composure in her
motion, that complacency in her manner, that if her form makes you
hope, her merit makes you fear. But then again, she is such a desperate
scholar, that no country-gentleman can approach her without being a
jest. As I was going to tell you, when I came to her house I was

admitted to her presence with great civility; at the same time she placed
herself to be first seen by me in such an attitude, as I think you call the
posture of a picture, that she discovered new charms, and I at last came
towards her with such an awe as made me speechless. This she no
sooner observed but she made her advantage of it, and began a
discourse to me concerning love and honour, as they both are followed
by pretenders and the real votaries to them. When she discussed these
points in a discourse, which I verily believe was as learned as the best
philosopher in Europe could possibly make, she asked me whether she
was so happy as to fall in with my sentiments on these important
particulars. Her confident sat by her, and upon my being in the last
confusion and silence, this malicious aid of hers turning to her says, 'I
am very glad to observe Sir Roger pauses upon this subject, and seems
resolved to deliver all his sentiments upon the matter when he pleases
to speak.' They both kept their countenances, and after I had sat half an
hour meditating how to behave before such profound casuists, I rose up
and took my leave. Chance has since that time thrown me very often in
her way, and she as often has directed a discourse to me which I do not
understand. This barbarity has kept me ever at a distance from the most
beautiful object my eyes ever beheld. It is thus also she deals with all
mankind, and you must make love to her, as you would conquer the
sphinx, by posing her. But were she like other women, and that there
were any talking to her, how constant must the pleasure of that man be,
who could converse with the creature--But, after all, you may be sure
her heart is