David DeAngelo - Double Your Dating - How To Change Yourself

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„2004 All Rights Reserved. – Change Yourself - By David DeAngelo

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„2004 All Rights Reserved. – Change Yourself - By David DeAngelo
How To Change Yourself
A Man’s Guide To Inner Change, Reaching Goals,
And Making Things Happen
By David DeAngelo
©Copyright 2004, All Rights Reserved

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„2004 All Rights Reserved. – Change Yourself - By David DeAngelo
1. Why YOU Need to be the One to Change.......................................4
You’re the Only One Who Really Cares about Your Success............................4
Trying to Change Reality Instead of Changing to Suit Reality.........................4
2. Guiding Change......................................................................5
Definite Major Purpose.....................................................................................5
Constant Improvement....................................................................................5
3. Recognizing the Obstacles.........................................................6
Preventing Ourselves from Success.................................................................6
Common Reasons for Negative Emotional States............................................7
Identification Leading to Over-Generalization.................................................8
Identification Entails ‘Meaning’........................................................................9
The Alluring Victim Syndrome........................................................................11
4. Adopting a More Successful Attitude..........................................12
Making Mental Feedback Loops Positive........................................................12
Re-Interpretation and Eliminating Failure.....................................................13
The Influence of Others..................................................................................14
Inner Work and Mental Preparation...............................................................15
5. Common Pitfalls....................................................................18
Unrealistic Expectations.................................................................................18
The Paralysis of Analysis................................................................................19
Jumping to Mastery........................................................................................19
Not Valuing the Result....................................................................................20

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„2004 All Rights Reserved. – Change Yourself - By David DeAngelo
1. Why YOU Need to be the One to Change
You’re the Only One Who Really Cares about Your Success
No one cares like you do, except perhaps your mom, and she
wants you to be a good wus-, I mean, hus-band. If you really want
success, you must first take full responsibility for your results. No one
else is ever going to give you success in life.
In fact, others often would rather see you fail. Subconsciously,
even most people are pleased by your failures. You may be lucky to
find a handful of true friends, but otherwise you’re the only one who
cares about what happens in your life.
Take personal responsibility! Accept that you’re the only one to
make success happen, that you’ll do whatever it takes to accomplish
your goals, and don’t accept from yourself any excuses for failure.
Trying to Change Reality Instead of Changing to Suit Reality
In “Market Wizards”, famous Trader Vic Sperandeo tells a story of
a stock-market contest that had an unexpected result: the smartest
guys lost all their money. Why?
When they had a stock of a company, the smartest held onto it
regardless of whether the price started to decline. They were so sure
their higher valuation was right, even though the market was sending
signals that the actual value of the stock was worth much less. They
waited for the market to suddenly correct itself and validate their
thinking. It didn’t.
If you’re not getting what you want, don’t be so arrogant that you
hold onto your beliefs and methods just because you think they’re
right. It’s much better to open your mind and accept the reality as it
is than to insist on sticking with how you thought or hoped it was.
In Aikido they say, “Be the water, not the rock.” When water hits
an obstacle, it flows around it. When a rock hits a barrier, it either
breaks or stops, but never gets past. Only by discovering how life
actually does work can you figure a way to adapt. You sometimes
need to change in order to reach your goals.

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„2004 All Rights Reserved. – Change Yourself - By David DeAngelo
2. Guiding Change
Now that you fully understand the need to change, let’s explore
some ways to actually make change happen.
Definite Major Purpose
Napoleon Hill talks about the concept of ‘Definite Major Purpose’
in his book, “Think and Grow Rich.” You’ve got to have a clear idea of
what you want. A concrete goal allows you to spend more energy
working in the right direction.
Take some time to actually ponder this thought. I recommend
actually using a pen and paper to write some ideas about what you
really want and why. This process forces you to formalize your
thoughts and allows you to evaluate them objectively.
Your Definite Major Purpose, for instance in dating, may be
meeting more attractive women, finding a fulfilling long-term
relationship, having more casual sex, etc. If you can develop one
powerful declarative sentence to guide all your efforts in this area,
you’ll go a lot further, faster. The learning will happen naturally if
you’ve got a core thought to which you can start attaching.
You can develop a Definite Major Purpose for all parts of your
life. Theoretically, it should be possible to link them into one about
your entire life. It’s a big mental shift to make, but one that will be
helpful in setting a direction in life.
Constant Improvement
Once you’ve got a Definite Major Purpose, you can apply W.
Edward Deming’s concept of Constant Improvement. Instead of
setting a limited goal, just keep improving. For instance, in dating,
there’s no reason to stop at a specific point by saying, “I’m going to
move up to dating 9s”, “I’m going to date much more beautiful
woman”, etc. Don’t stop you’ve doubled, triple, quadrupled, or
quintupled your dating!
Yoda said a lot of wise things in the original Star Wars trilogy (too
bad the second set SUCK!). One of my favorite quotes is, “There is no
try.” Give up on your mama’s advice to just “try