Dating and Falling in Love | Page 8

deeper into love, it revealed more of who
each of us was.

SHANNON: One of the ways our relationship
went higher for me was my shields finally
came down. I was so afraid to love again, so
afraid of possible loss. Did I dare do it again?
There was so much resistance in me to love
again. Yet, at the same time there was also
great motivation to go for it. This explains
the slower speed I was taking in our
relationship. What finally melted the
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resistance and took us higher in the
relationship was,

1. You didn't pressure me for anything.

2. I felt your unconditional love. I felt it in
my bones. Regardless of anything, you
just continued to love me freely without
stress and without pressure. It was
wonderful. It really allowed me to
develop, and to have space for me to
explore what I was feeling for you.

3. We spent quality time getting to know
each other at a very deep level. We had
so much acknowledging, praising,
listening and opportunity for each of us
to feel understood.

4. We played a lot. We were like dolphins,
just playing and laughing. Golly, we still
do. We laugh every day, really hard. And
we tease a lot without belittling. All of
those things made me feel emotionally
safe at all times.

SCOTT: And this playfulness also is part of
taking each other higher, experiencing the
safety of love. I remember a time that you
took me very high when we were dating. And
you asked me a simple question to get to
know me better. "Scott, what do you want to
do with the rest of your life?"

I felt torn because I thought," I've been very
successful occupationally. I've been a
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reporter, a national advertising manager,
creator of a world-wide video conference, and
a developer of empowering workshops, but
because of my previous divorce I feel like a
failure inside. I feel too old for my dreams, as
though it's too late.”

But, rather than telling you all this, I said, "I
don't know."

SHANNON: I surely didn’t look at you in that
way.

SCOTT: Well, the good news is men like me
are learning to share feelings openly. After I
said that, you looked right at me as if you
understood the inner thoughts, and you said,
"Scott, let's affirm right now that you have
the right to know your inner passion, and to
express it completely." Well, you were living
in Los Angeles, and when I drove home that
evening to San Diego, I felt so loved and so
cherished, that I actually got out a yellow pad
at home and for the first time in 10 years, I
began to think, "What do I want to do with
the rest of my life?" And all my dreams came
spilling out. And I thought, "I have a lot to
say about love." And, laughed, thinking,
"Well, why is that? Because all I have to show
for it is a failed marriage, even though my
professional life is a very loving one, and
empowering of others."

When we came back to our next date, you
said again, "Scott, what do you want to do
with the rest of your life?" I could tell that
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since you were smiling you knew something
had happened. As a spiritual healer, you
know the power of unconditional love and
how it opens up people. This is something
that each of us can do. Listen to
unconditional love.

I said, " I want to write a book on love." And
you said, "Well, why don't you write it? I felt I
couldn't do it. It wouldn't be authentic if I
wasn't experiencing love. I didn't want to
write about something that I hadn't proven in
my own life. You looked at me with
encouragement and said, "Well, what's it
going to take for you to write this book?" And
I said, "Shannon, I would have to be married
to you for three years in order to write this
book." I said that out of the honesty of my
heart.

Not only did that lead to our marriage, but it
lead to the book, "The Love You Deserve."
And this is the power of taking each other
higher. Today we're co-authors. Shannon is
a phenomenal writer, even though I helped
her move higher in that area.

SHANNON: And thanks to