Daisy in the Field | Page 2

his eyes, some touch of his
hand, would come back to me, and break down my power and unlock
fresh fountains of tears. This passion of self-indulgence was not like me,
and surprised myself. I suppose the reason was, I had been so long
alone; I had been working my way and waiting, in exile from home as
it were, so many days and years; nobody that loved me better than I
loved myself had been near me for so very long; that the sweetness so
suddenly given and so suddenly taken away left me a little unsteady.
Was it wonderful? The joy and the grief were both new; I was not
braced for either; the one seemed to add poignancy to the other; and
between the two facts, that Thorold loved me, and that he was gone
from me into what might be a duty of danger, - that he was gone into
danger and that he loved me, - for a little while my soul was tossed
back and forth like a ship on a stormy sea, unable to make any headway
at all. And so Miss Cardigan found me. She half lifted half drew me up,
I remember; made me lie down again on the sofa, gave me some hot tea
to drink; and when she had made me drink it, she sat still looking at me,
silent, and I thought a good deal disturbed. It would be difficult to tell
why I thought so. Perhaps it was because she said nothing. I lay quiet
with my face hid in my hands.
"What do you think to do with yourself to-day, now?" - was at last her
practical question.

"What o'clock is it?" I whispered.
"It's just on the stroke of six, Daisy."
"I'll get up and go on with my work," I said; and I raised myself to a
sitting posture accordingly.
"Work!" echoed Miss Cardigan. "You look like much of that! Your
cheeks" (and she touched them) "they are the colour of my magnolia
there that has just opened. A night's work Christian has made of it! I
suppose he is travelling off as content as if he had something to praise
himself for. The pride of these men! -"
I could not help laughing, and laughing made me cry. Miss Cardigan
promptly put me back on the cushions and bade me lie still; and she sat
in front of me there like a good shaggy human watch dog. I should not
say shaggy, for she was entirely neat and trim; but there was something
of sturdy and uncompromising about her which suggested the idea. I
lay still, and by and by went off into a sleep. That restored me. I woke
up a couple of hours later all right and quite myself again. I was able to
rush through the bit of study I had wanted; and went over to Mme.
Ricard's just a minute before school opened.
I had expected some uncomfortable questioning about my staying out
all night; but things do not happen as one expects. I got no questioning,
except from one or two of the girls. Mme. Ricard was ill, that was the
news in school; the other teachers had their hands full, and did not give
themselves any extra trouble about the doings of so regular and trusted
an inmate as myself. The business of the day rolled on and rolled off, as
if last night had never been; only that I walked in a dream; and when
night came I was free to go to bed early and open my budget of
thoughts and look at them. From without, all was safe.
All day my thoughts had been rushing off, away from the schoolroom
and from studies and masters, to look at a receding railway train, and
follow a grey coat in among the crowd of its fellows, where its wearer
mingled in all the business and avocations of his interrupted course of
life. Interrupted! yes, what a change had come to his and to mine; and

yet all was exactly the same outwardly. But the difference was, that I
was thinking of Thorold, and Thorold was thinking of me. How strange
it was! and what a great treasure of joy it was. I felt rich; with the most
abounding, satisfying, inexhaustible treasure of riches. All day I had
known I was rich; now I took out my gold and counted it, and could not
count it, and gave full-hearted thanks over it.
If the brightness wanted a foil, it was there; the gold glittered upon a
cloudy background. My treasure was not exactly in my hand to enjoy.
There might be many days before Thorold and I saw each other's faces
again. Dangers lay threatening him, that I could