Curious Republic of Gondour | Page 5

north, East-north-east and northerly Of
the northerly line of Mulligan street On the westerly line of Brannigan
street,
And running thence due northerly On Brannigan street 200 feet, Thence
at right angles westerly, North-west-by-west-and-west-half-west,
West-and-by-north, north-west-by-west, About--
I kind of dodged, and the boot-jack broke the looking-glass. I could
have waited to see what became of the other missiles if I had wanted to,
but I took no interest in such things.

INTRODUCTORY TO "MEMORANDA"
In taking upon myself the burden of editing a department in THE
GALAXY magazine, I have been actuated by a conviction that I was
needed, almost imperatively, in this particular field of literature. I have
long felt that while the magazine literature of the day had much to

recommend it, it yet lacked stability, solidity, weight. It seemed plain to
me that too much space was given to poetry and romance, and not
enough to statistics and agriculture. This defect it shall be my earnest
endeavour to remedy. If I succeed, the simple consciousness that I have
done a good deed will be a sufficient reward.**--[**Together with
salary.]
In this department of mine the public may always rely upon finding
exhaustive statistical tables concerning the finances of the country, the
ratio of births and deaths; the percentage of increase of population, etc.,
etc.--in a word, everything in the realm of statistics that can make
existence bright and beautiful.
Also, in my department will always be found elaborate condensations
of the Patent Office Reports, wherein a faithful endeavour will at all
times be made to strip the nutritious facts bare of that effulgence of
imagination and sublimity of diction which too often mar the
excellence of those great works.**--[** N. B.--No other magazine in
the country makes a specialty of the Patent Office Reports.]
In my department will always be found ample excerpts from those able
dissertations upon Political Economy which I have for a long time been
contributing to a great metropolitan journal, and which, for reasons
utterly incomprehensible to me, another party has chosen to usurp the
credit of composing.
And, finally, I call attention with pride to the fact that in my department
of the magazine the farmer will always find full market reports, and
also complete instructions about farming, even from the grafting of the
seed to the harrowing of the matured crop. I shall throw a pathos into
the subject of Agriculture that will surprise and delight the world.
Such is my programme; and I am persuaded that by adhering to it with
fidelity I shall succeed in materially changing the character of this
magazine. Therefore I am emboldened to ask the assistance and
encouragement of all whose sympathies are with Progress and Reform.
In the other departments of the magazine will be found poetry, tales,

and other frothy trifles, and to these the reader can turn for relaxation
from time to time, and thus guard against overstraining the powers of
his mind. M. T.
P. S.--1. I have not sold out of the "Buffalo Express," and shall not;
neither shall I stop writing for it. This remark seems necessary in a
business point of view.
2. These MEMORANDA are not a "humorous" department. I would
not conduct an exclusively and professedly humorous department for
any one. I would always prefer to have the privilege of printing a
serious and sensible remark, in case one occurred to me, without the
reader's feeling obliged to consider himself outraged. We cannot keep
the same mood day after day. I am liable, some day, to want to print my
opinion on jurisprudence, or Homeric poetry, or international law, and I
shall do it. It will be of small consequence to me whether the reader
survive or not. I shall never go straining after jokes when in a cheerless
mood, so long as the unhackneyed subject of international law is open
to me. I will leave all that straining to people who edit professedly and
inexorably "humorous" departments and publications.
3. I have chosen the general title of MEMORANDA for this
department because it is plain and simple, and makes no fraudulent
promises. I can print under it statistics, hotel arrivals, or anything that
comes handy, without violating faith with the reader.
4. Puns cannot be allowed a place in this department. Inoffensive
ignorance, benignant stupidity, and unostentatious imbecility will
always be welcomed and cheerfully accorded a corner, and even the
feeblest humour will be admitted, when we can do no better; but no
circumstances, however dismal, will ever be considered a sufficient
excuse for the admission of that last--and saddest evidence of
intellectual poverty, the Pun.

ABOUT SMELLS

In a recent issue of the "Independent," the Rev. T. De Witt Talmage, of
Brooklyn, has the following utterance on the subject of "Smells":
I have a