Curious Republic of Gondour | Page 4

Mark Twain
inflectionless judicial frigidity with which he always read his charge to the jury, or administered an oath to a witness:
"Take your bow, O Hiawatha, Take your arrows, jasper-headed, Take your war-club, Puggawaugun, And your mittens, Minjekahwan, And your birch canoe for sailing, And the oil of Mishe-Nama."
Presently my father took out of his breast pocket an imposing "Warranty Deed," and fixed his eyes upon it and dropped into meditation. I knew what it was. A Texan lady and gentleman had given my half-brother, Orrin Johnson, a handsome property in a town in the North, in gratitude to him for having saved their lives by an act of brilliant heroism.
By and by my father looked towards me and sighed. Then he said:
"If I had such a son as this poet, here were a subject worthier than the traditions of these Indians."
"If you please, sir, where?"
"In this deed."
"Yes--in this very deed," said my father, throwing it on the table. "There is more poetry, more romance, more sublimity, more splendid imagery hidden away in that homely document than could be found in all the traditions of all the savages that live."
"Indeed, sir? Could I--could I get it out, sir? Could I compose the poem, sir, do you think?"
"You?"
I wilted.
Presently my father's face softened somewhat, and he said:
"Go and try. But mind, curb folly. No poetry at the expense of truth. Keep strictly to the facts."
I said I would, and bowed myself out, and went upstairs.
"Hiawatha" kept droning in my head--and so did my father's remarks about the sublimity and romance hidden in my subject, and also his injunction to beware of wasteful and exuberant fancy. I noticed, just here, that I had heedlessly brought the deed away with me; now at this moment came to me one of those rare moods of daring recklessness, such as I referred to a while ago. Without another thought, and in plain defiance of the fact that I knew my father meant me to write the romantic story of my half- brother's adventure and subsequent good fortune, I ventured to heed merely the letter of his remarks and ignore their spirit. I took the stupid "Warranty Deed" itself and chopped it up into Hiawathian blank verse without altering or leaving out three words, and without transposing six. It required loads of courage to go downstairs and face my father with my performance. I started three or four times before I finally got my pluck to where it would stick. But at last I said I would go down and read it to him if he threw me over the church for it. I stood up to begin, and he told me to come closer. I edged up a little, but still left as much neutral ground between us as I thought he would stand. Then I began. It would be useless for me to try to tell what conflicting emotions expressed themselves upon his face, nor how they grew more and more intense, as I proceeded; nor how a fell darkness descended upon his countenance, and he began to gag and swallow, and his hands began to work and twitch, as I reeled off line after line, with the strength ebbing out of me, and my legs trembling under me:
THE STORY OF A GALLANT DEED
THIS INDENTURE, made the tenth Day of November, in the year Of our Lord one thousand eight Hundred six-and-fifty,
Between Joanna S. E. Gray And Philip Gray, her husband, Of Salem City in the State Of Texas, of the first part,
And O. B. Johnson, of the town Of Austin, ditto, WITNESSETH: That said party of first part, For and in consideration
Of the sum of Twenty Thousand Dollars, lawful money of The U. S. of Americay, To them in hand now paid by said
Party of the second part, The due receipt whereof is here- By confessed and acknowledg-ed Having Granted, Bargained, Sold, Remised,
Released and Aliened and Conveyed, Confirmed, and by these presents do Grant and Bargain, Sell, Remise, Alien, Release, Convey, and Con-
Firm unto the said aforesaid Party of the second part, And to his heirs and assigns Forever and ever ALL
That certain lot or parcel of LAND situate in city of Dunkirk, County of Chautauqua, And likewise furthermore in York State
Bounded and described, to-wit, As follows, herein, namely BEGINNING at the distance of A hundred two-and-forty feet,
North-half-east, north-east-by north, East-north-east and northerly Of the northerly line of Mulligan street On the westerly line of Brannigan street,
And running thence due northerly On Brannigan street 200 feet, Thence at right angles westerly, North-west-by-west-and-west-half-west,
West-and-by-north, north-west-by-west, About--
I kind of dodged, and the boot-jack broke the looking-glass. I could have waited to see what became of the other missiles if I had wanted to, but I took no interest in such things.

INTRODUCTORY TO "MEMORANDA"
In taking upon myself the burden
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