Count Fathom, part 1 | Page 9

that propensity to conversation,
for which she had been remarkable from her earliest years. Nor did this
instance of her affection fail of turning to her account in the sequel. She
was promoted to the office of cook to a regimental mess of officers;
and, before the peace of Utrecht, was actually in possession of a
suttling-tent, pitched for the accommodation of the gentlemen in the
army.
Meanwhile, Ferdinand improved apace in the accomplishments of
infancy; his beauty was conspicuous, and his vigour so uncommon, that
he was with justice likened unto Hercules in the cradle. The friends of
his father-in-law dandled him on their knees, while he played with their
whiskers, and, before he was thirteen months old, taught him to suck
brandy impregnated with gunpowder, through the touch-hole of a pistol.
At the same time, he was caressed by divers serjeants of the British
army, who severally and in secret contemplated his qualifications with
a father's pride, excited by the artful declaration with which the mother
had flattered each apart.
Soon as the war was (for her unhappily) concluded, she, as in duty
bound, followed her husband into Bohemia; and his regiment being
sent into garrison at Prague, she opened a cabaret in that city, which
was frequented by a good many guests of the Scotch and Irish nations,
who were devoted to the exercise of arms in the service of the Emperor.

It was by this communication that the English tongue became
vernacular to young Ferdinand, who, without such opportunity, would
have been a stranger to the language of his forefathers, in spite of all his
mother's loquacity and elocution; though it must be owned, for the
credit of her maternal care, that she let slip no occasion of making it
familiar to his ear and conception; for, even at those intervals in which
she could find no person to carry on the altercation, she used to hold
forth in earnest soliloquies upon the subject of her own situation, giving
vent to many opprobrious invectives against her husband's country,
between which and Old England she drew many odious comparisons;
and prayed, without ceasing, that Europe might speedily be involved in
a general war, so as that she might have some chance of re-enjoying the
pleasures and emoluments of a Flanders campaign.
CHAPTER THREE
HE IS INITIATED IN A MILITARY LIFE, AND HAS THE GOOD
FORTUNE TO ACQUIRE A GENEROUS PATRON.
While she wearied Heaven with these petitions, the flame of war broke
out betwixt the houses of Ottoman and Austria, and the Emperor sent
forth an army into Hungary, under the auspices of the renowned Prince
Eugene. On account of this expedition, the mother of our hero gave up
housekeeping, and cheerfully followed her customers and husband into
the field; having first provided herself with store of those commodities
in which she had formerly merchandised. Although the hope of profit
might in some measure affect her determination, one of the chief
motives for her visiting the frontiers of Turkey, was the desire of
initiating her son in the rudiments of his education, which she now
thought high time to inculcate, he being, at this period, in the sixth year
of his age; he was accordingly conducted to the camp, which she
considered as the most consummate school of life, and proposed for the
scene of his instruction; and in this academy he had not continued
many weeks, when he was an eye-witness of that famous victory,
which, with sixty thousand men, the Imperial general obtained over an
army of one hundred and fifty thousand Turks.

His father-in-law was engaged, and his mother would not be idle on
this occasion. She was a perfect mistress of all the camp qualifications,
and thought it a duty incumbent on her to contribute all that lay in her
power towards distressing the enemy. With these sentiments she
hovered about the skirts of the army, and the troops were no sooner
employed in the pursuit, than she began to traverse the field of battle
with a poignard and a bag, in order to consult her own interest, annoy
the foe, and exercise her humanity at the same time. In short, she had,
with amazing prowess, delivered some fifty or threescore disabled
Mussulmen of the pain under which they groaned, and made a
comfortable booty of the spoils of the slain, when her eyes were
attracted by the rich attire of an Imperial officer, who lay bleeding on
the plain, to all appearance in the agonies of death.
She could not in her heart refuse that favour to a friend and Christian
she had so compassionately bestowed upon so many enemies and
infidels, and therefore drew near with the sovereign remedy, which she
had already administered with such success. As she approached this
deplorable object