Convent Affairs | Page 6

It seemed to me that I had lost the faculty of writing. Ten
days afterwards I found out that I was too deeply in love to have the
power of expressing myself in any other way than through the feelings
of my heart.
'Sincerium est nisi vas, quodcunque infundis acescit.'
The face of M---- M---- had made too deep an impression on me;

nothing could possibly obliterate it except the all-powerful influence of
time.
In my ridiculous position I was sorely tempted to complain to Countess
S----; but I am happy to say I was prudent enough not to cross the
threshold of her door. At last I bethought myself that the giddy nun was
certainly labouring under constant dread, knowing that I had in my
possession her two letters, with which I could ruin her reputation and
cause the greatest injury to the convent, and I sent them back to her
with the following note, after I had kept them ten days:
"I can assure you, madam, that it was owing only to forgetfulness that I
did not return your two letters which you will find enclosed. I have
never thought of belying my own nature by taking a cowardly revenge
upon you, and I forgive you most willingly the two giddy acts of which
you have been guilty, whether they were committed thoughtlessly or
because you wanted to enjoy a joke at my expense. Nevertheless, you
will allow me to advise you not to treat any other man in the same way,
for you might meet with one endowed with less delicacy. I know your
name, I know who you are, but you need not be anxious; it is exactly as
if I did not know it. You may, perhaps, care but little for my discretion,
but if it should be so I should greatly pity you.
"You may be aware that I shall not shew myself again at your church;
but let me assure you that it is not a sacrifice on my part, and that I can
attend mass anywhere else. Yet I must tell you why I shall abstain from
frequenting the church of your convent. It is very natural for me to
suppose that to the two thoughtless acts of which you have been guilty,
you have added another not less serious, namely, that of having boasted
of your exploits with the other nuns, and I do not want to be the butt of
your jokes in cell or parlour. Do not think me too ridiculous if, in spite
of being five or six years older than you, I have not thrown off all
feelings of self-respect, or trodden under, my feet all reserve and
propriety; in one word, if I have kept some prejudices, there are a few
which in my opinion ought never to be forgotten. Do not disdain,
madam, the lesson which I take the liberty to teach you, as I receive in
the kindest spirit the one which you have given me, most likely only for

the sake of fun, but by which I promise you to profit as long as I live."
I thought that, considering all circumstances, my letter was a very
genial one; I made up my parcel, put on my mask, and looked out for a
porter who could have no knowledge of me; I gave him half a sequin,
and I promised him as much more when he could assure me that he had
faithfully delivered my letter at the convent of Muran. I gave him all
the necessary instructions, and cautioned him to go away the very
moment he had delivered the letter at the gate of the convent, even if he
were told to wait. I must say here that my messenger was a man from
Forli, and that the Forlanese were then the most trustworthy men in
Venice; for one of them to be guilty of a breach of trust was an
unheard-of thing. Such men were formerly the Savoyards, in Paris; but
everything is getting worse in this world.
I was beginning to forget the adventure, probably because I thought,
rightly or wrongly, that I had put an insurmountable barrier between the
nun and myself, when, ten days after I had sent my letter, as I was
coming out of the opera, I met my messenger, lantern in hand. I called
him, and without taking off my mask I asked him whether he knew me.
He looked at me, eyed me from head to foot, and finally answered that
he did not.
"Did you faithfully carry the message to Muran?"
"Ah, sir! God be praised! I am very happy to see you again, for I have
an important communication to make to you. I took your letter,
delivered it according to your instructions,