Convent Affairs | Page 4

glad of it, for I was
so astonished, so completely under the spell of her beauty, that I might
have given her a very poor opinion of my intelligence by the rambling
answers which I should very likely have given to her questions. I knew
her to be certain that she had not to fear the humiliation of a refusal
from me, but I admired her courage in running the risk of it in her
position. I could hardly understand her boldness, and I could not
conceive how she contrived to enjoy so much liberty. A casino at
Muran! the possibility of going to Venice to sup with a young man! It
was all very surprising, and I decided in my own mind that she had an
acknowledged lover whose pleasure it was to make her happy by
satisfying her caprices. It is true that such a thought was rather
unpleasant to my pride, but there was too much piquancy in the
adventure, the heroine of it was too attractive, for me to be stopped by
any considerations. I saw very well that I was taking the high road to
become unfaithful to my dear C---- C----, or rather that I was already so
in thought and will, but I must confess that, in spite of all my love for
that charming child, I felt no qualms of conscience. It seemed to me
that an infidelity of that sort, if she ever heard of it, would not displease
her, for that short excursion on strange ground would only keep me
alive and in good condition for her, because it would save me from the
weariness which was surely killing me.
I had been presented to the celebrated Countess Coronini by a nun, a
relative of M. Dandolo. That countess, who had been very handsome
and was very witty, having made up her mind to renounce the political
intrigues which had been the study of her whole life, had sought a
retreat in the Convent of St. Justine, in the hope of finding in that
refuge the calm which she wanted, and which her disgust of society had
rendered necessary to her. As she had enjoyed a very great reputation,
she was still visited at the convent by all the foreign ambassadors and
by the first noblemen of Venice; inside of the walls of her convent the
countess was acquainted with everything that happened in the city. She
always received me very kindly, and, treating me as a young man, she
took pleasure in giving me, every time I called on her, very agreeable
lessons in morals. Being quite certain to find out from her, with a little
manoeuvering, something concerning M---- M----, I decided on paying

her a visit the day after I had seen the beautiful nun.
The countess gave me her usual welcome, and, after the thousand
nothings which it is the custom to utter in society before anything
worth saying is spoken, I led the conversation up to the convents of
Venice. We spoke of the wit and influence of a nun called Celsi, who,
although ugly, had an immense credit everywhere and in everything.
We mentioned afterwards the young and lovely Sister Michali, who
had taken the veil to prove to her mother that she was superior to her in
intelligence and wit. After speaking of several other nuns who had the
reputation of being addicted to gallantry, I named M---- M----,
remarking that most likely she deserved that reputation likewise, but
that she was an enigma. The countess answered with a smile that she
was not an enigma for everybody, although she was necessarily so for
most people.
"What is incomprehensible," she said, "is the caprice that she took
suddenly to become a nun, being handsome, rich, free, well-educated,
full of wit, and, to my knowledge, a Free-thinker. She took the veil
without any reason, physical or moral; it was a mere caprice."
"Do you believe her to be happy, madam?"
"Yes, unless she has repented her decision, or if she does not repent it
some day. But if ever she does, I think she will be wise enough never to
say so to anyone."
Satisfied by the mysterious air of the countess that M---- M---- had a
lover, I made up my mind not to trouble myself about it, and having put
on my mask I went to Muran in the afternoon. When I reached the gate
of the convent I rang the bell, and with an anxious heart I asked for
M---- M---- in the name of Madame de S----. The small parlour being
closed, the attendant pointed out to me the one in which I had to go. I
went in, took off my mask, and sat down waiting for my divinity.
My