Confessions of A Justified Sinner | Page 6

dressed himself in an instant, and
strode through every room in the house, opening the windows as he
went, and scrutinizing every bed and every corner. He came into the
hall where the wedding festival had been held; and as he opened the

various windowboards, loving couples flew off like hares surprised too
late in the morning among the early braird. "Hoo-boo! Fie, be
frightened!" cried the laird. "Fie, rin like fools, as if ye were caught in
an ill- turn!" His bride was not among them; so he was obliged to
betake himself to further search. "She will be praying in some corner,
poor woman," said he to himself. "It is an unlucky thing this praying.
But, for my part, I fear I have behaved very ill; and I must endeavour to
make amends."
The laird continued his search, and at length found his beloved in the
same bed with her Glasgow cousin who had acted as bridesmaid. "You
sly and malevolent imp," said the laird; "you have played me such a
trick when I was fast asleep! I have not known a frolic so clever, and, at
the same time, so severe. Come along, you baggage you!"
"Sir, I will let you know that I detest your principles and your person
alike," said she. "It shall never be said, Sir, that my person was at the
control of a heathenish man of Belial--a dangler among the daughters
of women--a promiscuous dancer--and a player of unlawful games.
Forgo your rudeness, Sir, I say, and depart away from my presence and
that of my kinswoman.
"Come along, I say, my charming Rab. If you were the pink of all
puritans, and the saint of all saints, you are my wife, and must do as I
command you."
"Sir, I will sooner lay down my life than be subjected to your godless
will; therefore I say, desist, and begone with you."
But the laird regarded none of these testy sayings: he rolled her in a
blanket, and bore her triumphantly away to his chamber, taking care to
keep a fold or two of the blanket always rather near to her mouth, in
case of any outrageous forthcoming of noise.
The next day at breakfast the bride was long in making her appearance.
Her maid asked to see her; but George did not choose that anybody
should see her but himself. He paid her several visits, and always
turned the key as he came out. At length breakfast was served; and
during the time of refreshment the laird tried to break several jokes; but
it was remarked that they wanted their accustomed brilliancy, and that
his nose was particularly red at the top.
Matters, without all doubt, had been very bad between the new-
married couple; for in the course of the day the lady deserted her

quarters, and returned to her father's house in Glasgow, after having
been a night on the road; stage-coaches and steam-boats having then no
existence in that quarter.
Though Baillie Orde had acquiesced in his wife's asseveration
regarding the likeness of their only daughter to her father, he never
loved or admired her greatly; therefore this behaviour nothing
astounded him. He questioned her strictly as to the grievous offence
committed against her, and could discover nothing that warranted a
procedure so fraught with disagreeable consequences. So, after mature
deliberation, the baillie addressed her as follows:
"Aye, aye, Raby! An' sae I find that Dalcastle has actually refused to
say prayers with you when you ordered him; an' has guidit you in a
rude indelicate manner, outstepping the respect due to my daughter--as
my daughter. But, wi' regard to what is due to his own wife, of that he's
a better judge nor me. However, since he has behaved in that manner to
MY DAUGHTER, I shall be revenged on him for aince; for I shall
return the obligation to ane nearer to him: that is, I shall take
pennyworths of his wife--an' let him lick at that."
"What do you mean, Sir?" said the astonished damsel.
"I mean to be revenged on that villain Dalcastle," said he, "for what he
has done to my daughter. Come hither, Mrs. Colwan, you shall pay for
this."
So saying, the baillie began to inflict corporal punishment on the
runaway wife. His strokes were not indeed very deadly, but he made a
mighty flourish in the infliction, pretending to be in a great rage only at
the Laird of Dalcastle. "Villain that he is!" exclaimed he, 'I shall teach
him to behave in such a manner to a child of mine, be she as she may;
since I cannot get at himself, I shall lounder her that is nearest to him in
life. Take you that, and that, Mrs. Colwan, for your