be possible for a married pair to have the
fullest gratification without fear of children unless they desire them.
Others, but these are extremists, go so far as to claim that apart
altogether from marriage vows, sexual intercourse should be the
experience of all, and that knowledge of how to avoid the birth of
illegitimate children should be given to all.
The discussion of this subject has taken place under the title of Birth
Control, but the control or regulation of births is not really the point
under discussion. A very big factor in the diminution of births comes
under the heading of abortions, whether voluntary or through
conditions which might be remedied. That subject is not touched upon
in this paper, but only methods which avoid conception, which is, of
course, a very different subject from the larger one of avoiding births.
At first sight it might seem a comparatively simple thing, in view of the
knowledge which already exists of the physiological processes
involved in conception, to advise a method which shall prevent
conception at will without harmful effect upon man or woman and yet
leave intercourse unimpaired. But even at first sight it is obvious that
whatever knowledge may be available, and whatever methods may be
devised, it would not be easy to convey this knowledge rightly to the
individual it is hoped to benefit without doing harm to others. Further
thought shows that the national problems involved are so important and
far reaching in effects that they might well arrest the attention of the
most careless advocate of indiscriminate conception control.
This is a subject, therefore, which requires careful consideration from
the point of view of the individual, of public morality, and of national
welfare--and the more closely it is studied the more apparent are the far
reaching issues involved. It is improbable that the practice of using
contraceptives will continue for even a generation without revealing the
harmful effects which must to some extent ensue.
In the whole discussion of this subject it is important to keep in mind
that the physical is only one aspect of the sex relation.
In the evolution which sex has shared with all else, the psychic side
appears even in the higher animals. In them the desire is not for mere
indiscriminate physical satisfaction, but the element of choice comes in,
a factor which sometimes upsets the plans of breeders. In man this
aspect of the relation is all important. The higher side of sex, or what
we may call the psychical secondary sex characters, seem to extend
through the whole range of mental and spiritual activities. Because of
this there is freshness of contact in mental and spiritual intercourse
between men and women which differs somewhat from that between
individuals of the same sex, and very much of the joy of life springs
from the impact of these differing yet completing selves the one upon
the other.
Where the whole being enters into the union of the sexes the complete
joy of marriage is realised, the characteristic of which is that it does not
fade, but becomes ever deeper and more fully realised, a sure indication
that the highest pleasure of sex union is only attained when it
consummates a love which involves mutual sympathy and
consideration. Physical union alone produces dissatisfaction the more
quickly in proportion as it is physical only; on the other hand, when all
parts of the nature find their counterpart in another, the joy of such
intercourse pervades the whole life, and frequent repetition of physical
intercourse is not essential to its highest development.
This is well known to all true lovers who have for varied reasons
exercised some voluntary self-control in regard to the physical side of
sex in marriage, either in deference of the one to the desire of the other,
or to avoid too frequent child-bearing, or in special seasons such as
Lent.
On the other hand it has been observed by most people that many
marriages which seem to promise well, quickly lose even to the eye of
the outsider all the romance of the days of courtship. Is not too frequent
physical indulgence sometimes the cause?
Even the time of courtship is spoiled by unrestrained demonstration of
affection, and the beauty of the higher side of love is apt to lose its
delicate bloom by over accentuation of the physical in marriage;
husband and wife sadly admit to themselves that disillusionment has
come--the real truth being that in seeking only physical satisfaction in
each other, their eyes have become blinded to those higher qualities
which each glimpsed in the other during the happier days of courtship,
and the "road of the loving hearts," which they hoped to tread through
life, has been missed because they have forgotten that "man is
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