Comedy of Marriage and Other Tales | Page 9

of your numerous mistresses cost you in the space of three months--not only in money, but in gifts of jewelry, in dainty little suppers, in ceremonious dinners, in theater boxes,--in everything?
M. DE SALLUS
How can I tell?
MME. DE SALLUS
You should be able to. Come, let us make an estimate. Did you give her a round sum, or did you pay for everything separately? However, I know you are not a man to bother over details, so I conclude that you gave her a round sum.
M. DE SALLUS
Madeline, you are absolutely unbearable.
MME. DE SALLUS
Follow me closely. When you began to neglect me, you took away three horses from our stables--one of them was mine and the other two were yours. Then you took away a coachman and a footman; you then found it necessary to make me economize at home in order that you might be extravagant abroad.
M. DE SALLUS
That is not true.
MME. DE SALLUS
Oh! yes, it is. I have every date; do not deny it, for I shall confound you if you do. You also stopped giving me jewels, for, of course, you had other ears, other fingers, other wrists, and other necks to adorn. You also deprived me of one of my nights at the Opéra, and I do not know how many other things less important. And all this, according to my idea, should mean about five thousand francs a month. Am I not right?
M. DE SALLUS
You may be, but you are mad.
MME. DE SALLUS
No, no, confess; did the most expensive one of your mistresses cost you about five thousand francs a month?
M. DE SALLUS
You are crazy.
MME. DE SALLUS
If you are going to answer me thus, I bid you good evening. [_She rises as if to retire, but_ M. de Sallus interposes.]
M. DE SALLUS
Come now, Madeline, a truce to this jesting.
MME. DE SALLUS [_in a determined manner_]
Five thousand francs? Tell me, did she cost you five thousand francs?
M. DE SALLUS [_shrugs his shoulders_]
Oh, yes, thereabouts.
MME. DE SALLUS [_looks him straight in the face_]
Ah, ah! Well, listen. If you will give me immediately five thousand francs, you may be my husband for a month--but only a month.
M. DE SALLUS
You have lost your head!
MME. DE SALLUS
Well, farewell, good night!
M. DE SALLUS
What a farce! Stop, Madeline, let us talk seriously.
MME. DE SALLUS
About what?
M. DE SALLUS
Of--of--hang it--of my love for you.
MME. DE SALLUS [_archly_]
But that's not a serious question at all.
M. DE SALLUS
I swear it is!
MME. DE SALLUS
Hypocrite! You make me thirsty with so much talk. [_Goes to a chiffonier, where there is a decanter and various liqueurs, and pours herself out a glass of water. At the instant she begins to drink_, M. de Sallus _steals up and kisses her on the back of the neck. She turns with a start and throws the glass of water in his face_.]
M. DE SALLUS
I suppose you think that funny.
MME. DE SALLUS
It may or may not be. Certainly what you have done, or tried to do, was ridiculous.
M. DE SALLUS
Madeline, I ask--
MME. DE SALLUS
Five--thousand--francs.
M. DE SALLUS
But that would be idiotic.
MME. DE SALLUS
And why?
M. DE SALLUS
Ask me why a husband should pay his wife--his lawful wife--when he has the right?
MME. DE SALLUS
Oh, no, no. You may have the strength, but I can have my revenge.
M. DE SALLUS
Madeline--
MME. DE SALLUS
Five--thousand--francs.
M. DE SALLUS
I should be an object of ridicule forever if I were to pay my wife--yes--not only an object of ridicule, but an idiot, an imbecile.
MME. DE SALLUS
Well, don't you think it is still more imbecile, when you have such a wife as I, to--to go outside and--pay mistresses?
M. DE SALLUS
Madeline, I confess it; but now--we are husband and wife, and it is not necessary to ruin me, is it?
MME. DE SALLUS
Allow me. When you took your wealth--the wealth which was also partly mine by marriage--to pay for your folly, you committed an action that was more than doubtful. In fact, it was criminal, for you ruined me at the same time you ruined yourself. I use your own language. I have refrained from asking you more about the folly that is in question; moreover, the five thousand francs that you must give me will be spent upon your own house. You must admit that is practical economy. But I know you; I know that you are never in love with anything that is lawful and right; so in paying dearly--very dearly, because I shall probably seek an increase--for what you have the right to take, you will find our--_liaison_--far more to your taste. [Smiles.] Good night, I am going to bed.
M. DE SALLUS [_angrily_]
Will you take it in cash, or have a cheque?
MME. DE SALLUS [_haughtily_]
I prefer cash.
M. DE SALLUS [_opening a pocketbook_]
I have only three bank-notes. I will give you the rest in a cheque. [Writes a cheque and hands it to Mme. de Sallus.]
MME.