Collected Works of Poe | Page 7

limited sympathy. My visions were of shipwreck and
famine; of death or captivity among barbarian hordes; of a lifetime

dragged out in sorrow and tears, upon some gray and desolate rock, in
an ocean unapproachable and unknown. Such visions or desires- for
they amounted to desires- are common, I have since been assured, to
the whole numerous race of the melancholy among men- at the time of
which I speak I regarded them only as prophetic glimpses of a destiny
which I felt myself in a measure bound to fulfil. Augustus thoroughly
entered into my state of mind. It is probable, indeed, that our intimate
communion had resulted in a partial interchange of character.
About eighteen months after the period of the Ariel's disaster, the firm
of Lloyd and Vredenburgh (a house connected in some manner with the
Messieurs Enderby, I believe, of Liverpool) were engaged in repairing
and fitting out the brig Grampus for a whaling voyage. She was an old
hulk, and scarcely seaworthy when all was done to her that could be
done. I hardly know why she was chosen in preference to other good
vessels belonging to the same owners -- but so it was. Mr. Barnard was
appointed to command her, and Augustus was going with him. While
the brig was getting ready, he frequently urged upon me the excellency
of the opportunity now offered for indulging my desire of travel. He
found me by no means an unwilling listener -- yet the matter could not
be so easily arranged. My father made no direct opposition; but my
mother went into hysterics at the bare mention of the design; and, more
than all, my grandfather, from whom I expected much, vowed to cut me
off with a shilling if I should ever broach the subject to him again.
These difficulties, however, so far from abating my desire, only added
fuel to the flame. I determined to go at all hazards; and, having made
known my intentions to Augustus, we set about arranging a plan by
which it might be accomplished. In the meantime I forbore speaking to
any of my relations in regard to the voyage, and, as I busied myself
ostensibly with my usual studies, it was supposed that I had abandoned
the design. I have since frequently examined my conduct on this
occasion with sentiments of displeasure as well as of surprise. The
intense hypocrisy I made use of for the furtherance of my project- an
hypocrisy pervading every word and action of my life for so long a
period of time- could only have been rendered tolerable to myself by
the wild and burning expectation with which I looked forward to the
fulfilment of my long-cherished visions of travel.

In pursuance of my scheme of deception, I was necessarily obliged to
leave much to the management of Augustus, who was employed for the
greater part of every day on board the Grampus, attending to some
arrangements for his father in the cabin and cabin hold. At night,
however, we were sure to have a conference and talk over our hopes.
After nearly a month passed in this manner, without our hitting upon
any plan we thought likely to succeed, he told me at last that he had
determined upon everything necessary. I had a relation living in New
Bedford, a Mr. Ross, at whose house I was in the habit of spending
occasionally two or three weeks at a time. The brig was to sail about
the middle of June (June, 1827), and it was agreed that, a day or two
before her putting to sea, my father was to receive a note, as usual,
from Mr. Ross, asking me to come over and spend a fortnight with
Robert and Emmet (his sons). Augustus charged himself with the
inditing of this note and getting it delivered. Having set out as supposed,
for New Bedford, I was then to report myself to my companion, who
would contrive a hiding-place for me in the Grampus. This
hiding-place, he assured me, would be rendered sufficiently
comfortable for a residence of many days, during which I was not to
make my appearance. When the brig had proceeded so far on her
course as to make any turning back a matter out of question, I should
then, he said, be formally installed in all the comforts of the cabin; and
as to his father, he would only laugh heartily at the joke. Vessels
enough would be met with by which a letter might be sent home
explaining the adventure to my parents.
The middle of June at length arrived, and every thing had been matured.
The note was written and delivered, and on a Monday morning I left
the house for the New Bedford packet, as supposed. I went,