Clarissa, Volume 9 | Page 4

the same.-- Interview with Colonel Morden.
To-morrow, says he, is the day that will, in all probability, send either
one or two ghosts to attend the manes of my Clarissa. He doubts not to

give the Colonel his life, or his death; and to be able, by next morning
eleven, to write all the particulars.
LETTER LXIV. THE ISSUE OF THE DUEL.
CONCLUSION
POSTSCRIPT

THE HISTORY
OF
CLARISSA HARLOWE

LETTER I
MR. BELFORD [IN CONTINUATION.] SOHO, SIX O'CLOCK,
SEPT. 7.
The lady is still alive. The Colonel having just sent his servant to let me
know that she inquired after me about an hour ago, I am dressing to
attend her. Joel begs of me to dispatch him back, though but with one
line to gratify your present impatience. He expects, he says, to find you
at Knightsbridge, let him make what haste he can back; and, if he has
not a line or two to pacify you, he is afraid you will pistol him; for he
apprehends that you are hardly yourself. I therefore dispatch this, and
will have another ready, as soon as I can, with particulars.--But you
must have a little patience; for how can I withdraw myself every half
hour to write, if I am admitted to the lady's presence, or if I am with the
Colonel?
SMITH'S, EIGHT IN THE MORNING.
The lady is in a slumber. Mrs. Lovick, who sat up with her, says she
had a better night than was expected; for although she slept little, she
seemed easy; and the easier for the pious frame she was in; all her
waking moments being taken up in devotion, or in an ejaculatory
silence; her hands and eyes often lifted up, and her lips moving with a
fervour worthy of these her last hours.
TEN O'CLOCK.
The Colonel being earnest to see his cousin as soon as she awoke, we
were both admitted. We observed in her, as soon as we entered, strong
symptoms of her approaching dissolution, notwithstanding what the
women had flattered us with from her last night's tranquillity.--The

Colonel and I, each loth to say what we thought, looked upon one
another with melancholy countenances.
The Colonel told her he should send a servant to her uncle Antony's for
some papers he had left there; and asked if she had any commands that
way.
She thought not, she said, speaking more inwardly than she did the day
before. She had indeed a letter ready to be sent to her good Norton; and
there was a request intimated in it. But it was time enough, if the
request were signified to those whom it concerned when all was over.
--However, it might be sent them by the servant who was going that
way. And she caused it to be given to the Colonel for that purpose.
Her breath being very short, she desired another pillow. Having two
before, this made her in a manner sit up in her bed; and she spoke then
with more distinctness; and, seeing us greatly concerned, forgot her
own sufferings to comfort us; and a charming lecture she gave us,
though a brief one, upon the happiness of a timely preparation, and
upon the hazards of a late repentance, when the mind, as she observed,
was so much weakened, as well as the body, as to render a poor soul
hardly able to contend with its natural infirmities.
I beseech ye, my good friends, proceeded she, mourn not for one who
mourns not, nor has cause to mourn, for herself. On the contrary,
rejoice with me, that all my worldly troubles are so near to their end.
Believe me, Sirs, that I would not, if I might, choose to live, although
the pleasantest part of my life were to come over again: and yet
eighteen years of it, out of nineteen, have been very pleasant. To be so
much exposed to temptation, and to be so liable to fail in the trial, who
would not rejoice that all her dangers are over?--All I wished was
pardon and blessing from my dear parents. Easy as my departure seems
promised to be, it would have been still easier, had I that pleasure. BUT
GOD ALMIGHTY WOULD NOT LET ME DEPEND FOR
COMFORT UPON ANY BUT HIMSELF.
She then repeated her request, in the most earnest manner, to her cousin,
that he would not heighten her fault, by seeking to avenge her death; to
me, that I would endeavour to make up all breaches, and use the power
I had with my friend, to prevent all future mischiefs from him, as well
as that which this trust might give me to prevent any to him.
She made some excuses to her cousin, for not having been able to alter

her will,