Christie Redferns Troubles | Page 6

left her to herself. So Christie sat on the garret-floor, too
miserable to read, her heart full of angry thoughts against her aunt, her
sisters, and all the world.
But into the very midst of her vexed and angry murmurs against them
there came the feeling that all the fault was not theirs--that she was
herself to be blamed. And by and by the anger passed away; but the
misery remained, and oftener, and with more power, came the
consciousness that she was a very cross, unamiable child, that she was
not like her older sisters or the little ones, that she was a comfort to no
one, but a vexation to all. If she only could die! she thought. No! she
would be afraid to die! But, oh, if she had never been born! Oh, if her
mother had not died!
And yet she might have been a trial to her mother, too, as she was to all
the rest. But no! she thought; her mother would have loved her and had
patience with her; and Aunt Elsie never had. Amid a rush of angry tears,
there fell a few very bitter drops to the memory of her mother.
With a weary pain at her head and heart, she went about the household
work of the afternoon. The dinner-dishes were put away, and the room
was swept and dusted, in silence. The pans were prepared for the
evening milk, and the table was laid for supper; and then she sat down,
with a face so woe-begone and miserable, and an air so weary that,
even in spite of her anger, her aunt could not but pity her. She pitied
herself more, however. She said to herself that she was at her wits' end
with the wilful child. She began to fear that she would never be other
than a cross and a trial to her; and it did seem to Aunt Elsie that, with
her bad health and her hard work among her brother's children, she had

enough to vex her without Christie's untowardness. It did seem so
perverse in her, when she needed her help so much, to be so heedless
and sullen.
"And yet what a poor, pale, unhappy little creature she seems to be!"
thought she. "Maybe I haven't all the patience with her that I ought to
have. God knows, I need not a little to bear all my own aches and
pains."
But her relenting thoughts did not take the form of words; and Christie
never fancied, when she was bidden go for the cows at once, and not
wait for the coming of the children from school, that her aunt sent her
because she thought the walk to the pasture would do her good. She
believed it was a part of her punishment, still, that she should be
required to do what had all the summer been the acknowledged work of
Will and her little sisters. So, though she was too weary and miserable
to resist, or even to murmur, she went with a lagging step and a
momentary rising of her old angry and resentful thoughts.
It was not very far to the pasture through the wheat-field; and she was
soon there. But when the cows had passed through the gate she let them
go or not, just as they pleased, and turned aside, to think over again, by
the side of the brook, the miserable thoughts of the afternoon; and the
end of these was the murmured prayer with which my story began.
Her thoughts were not very cheerful as she plodded along. She had no
wish to hurry. If she did, she would very likely have to milk Brownie
and Blackie and the rest, besides Fleckie, her own peculiar care. She
said to herself, there was no reason why she should do her sisters' work,
though it was harvest-time and they would come home tired. She was
tired too--though nobody seemed to think she ever did anything to tire
her. She could milk all the cows well enough. She had done it many a
time. But it was one thing to do it of her own free will, and quite
another to do so because her aunt was cross and wanted to punish her
for her morning fault. So she loitered on the road, though the sun had
set and she knew there was danger of the cows passing the gate and
getting in among the wheat, where the fence was insufficient, in the
field below.

"I don't care," she said to herself. "It winna be my fault. The bairns
should have been at home. It's their work, not mine, to mind the cows.
Oh, I wist Effie was at home! There's nothing quite so bad where she is
here. But I'll