Charles OMalley, vol 2 | Page 5

has its own separate flirtation
party; there, a riotous old gentleman, with a boarding-school girl for his
partner, has plunged smack into a party at loo, upsetting cards and
counters, and drawing down curses innumerable. Here are a merry knot
round the refreshments, and well they may be; for the negus is strong
punch, and the biscuit is tipsy cake,--and all this with a running fire of
good stories, jokes, and witticisms on all sides, in the laughter for
which even the droll-looking servants join as heartily as the rest.
"We were not long in finding out Mrs. Rogers, who sat in the middle of
a very high sofa, with her feet just touching the floor. She was short, fat,
wore her hair in a crop, had a species of shining yellow skin, and a
turned-up nose, all of which were by no means prepossessing. Shaugh
and myself were too hard-up to be particular, and so we invited her to
dance alternately for two consecutive hours, plying her assiduously
with negus during the lulls in the music.
"Supper was at last announced, and enabled us to recruit for new efforts;
and so after an awful consumption of fowl, pigeon-pie, ham, and
brandy cherries, Mrs. Rogers brightened up considerably, and professed
her willingness to join the dancers. As for us, partly from exhaustion,
partly to stimulate our energies, and in some degree to drown reflection,
we drank deep, and when we reached the drawing-room, not only the
agreeable guests themselves, but even the furniture, the venerable
chairs, and the stiff old sofa seemed performing 'Sir Roger de
Coverley.' How we conducted ourselves till five in the morning, let our
cramps confess; for we were both bed-ridden for ten days after.

However, at last Mrs. Rogers gave in, and reclining gracefully upon a
window-seat, pronounced it a most elegant party, and asked me to look
for her shawl. While I perambulated the staircase with her bonnet on
my head, and more wearing apparel than would stock a magazine,
Shaugh was roaring himself hoarse in the street, calling Mrs. Rogers'
coach.
"'Sure, Captain,' said the lady, with a tender leer, 'it's only a chair.'
"'And here it is,' said I, surveying a very portly-looking old sedan,
newly painted and varnished, that blocked up half the hall.
"'You'll catch cold, my angel,' said Shaugh, in a whisper, for he was
coming it very strong by this; 'get into the chair. Maurice, can't you find
those fellows?' said he to me, for the chairmen had gone down-stairs,
and were making very merry among the servants.
"'She's fast now,' said I, shutting the door to. 'Let us do the gallant thing,
and carry her home ourselves.' Shaugh thought this a great notion; and
in a minute we mounted the poles and sallied forth, amidst a great
chorus of laughing from all the footmen, maids, and teaboys that filled
the passage.
"'The big house, with the bow-window and the pillars, Captain,' said a
fellow, as we issued upon our journey. "'I know it,' said I. 'Turn to the
left after you pass the square.'
"'Isn't she heavy?' said Shaugh, as he meandered across the narrow
streets with a sidelong motion that must have suggested to our fair
inside passenger some notions of a sea voyage. In truth, I must confess
our progress was rather a devious one,--now zig-zagging from side to
side, now getting into a sharp trot, and then suddenly pulling up at a
dead stop, or running the machine chuck against a wall, to enable us to
stand still and gain breath.
"'Which way now?' cried he, as we swung round the angle of a street
and entered the large market-place; 'I'm getting terribly tired.'

"'Never give in, Dan. Think of Clonakilty and the old lady herself.'
Here I gave the chair a hoist that evidently astonished our fair friend,
for a very imploring cry issued forth immediately after.
"'To the right, quick-step, forward, charge!' cried I; and we set off at a
brisk trot down a steep narrow lane.
"'Here it is now,--the light in the window. Cheer up.'
"As I said this we came short up to a fine, portly-looking doorway, with
great stone pillars and cornice.
"'Make yourself at home, Maurice,' said he; 'bring her in.' So saying, we
pushed forward--for the door was open--and passed boldly into a great
flagged hall, silent and cold, and dark as the night itself.
"'Are you sure we're right?' said he.
"'All right,' said I; 'go ahead.'
"And so we did, till we came in sight of a small candle that burned
dimly at a distance from us.
"'Make for the light,' said I; but just as I said so Shaugh slipped and fell
flat on the flagway. The noise of his fall sent up a hundred